Friday, November 13, 2009


11:30 AM - Camden Appts. Gym

So I walk in to my complex's workout facility today, and everything seemed normal on the surface: 2 chicks on the treadmills and one dude wailing on his glutes on the elliptical. Being that the bike is usually the bastard child of the weight room, I brought my 8th WoT book in anticipation. 20 minutes in, and the girls jump off their respective treadmills almost simultaneously, and the guy runs out for some water.

One of the girls, a blond semi-overweight lass, waddles up to the other and says:

"Are you British...or from a different country. I just got a psychic flash that you were foreign."

At this point, the other chick has the appropriate series of reactions: she checked to see if the blond had a knife or a gun, then calmly said, "um...yes, we just moved from Australia."

The blond frowned, and was silent for a second before saying,

"Oh darn, usually my flashes are more accurate when I work out. You know, all the blood running through the brain and stuff. I could have sworn you from England. Maybe next time. Have a great workout!"

She waddles off, and the couple remains there for a few moments obviously stunned into an awkward silence. I took my opportunity to come out of my feigned obliviousness on the bike and said, "Don't worry, we aren't all like this."

They laughed, and left shortly after. I couldn't really focus anymore on reading on the bike, because frankly I was a little peeved. Perhaps this is just the existential narcissist in me, but I was annoyed that this portly blond with the shining got no sort of psychic flash about me. Really, I would have accepted anything like:

"You have a handsome dog named Gus."
"I feel as if you are getting married soon."
"The seas will run red with the blood of your enemies."

Would it have killed her to fake it? I'm just saying, if there are other people in the room, it's only polite to bring enough fortune cookies for the rest of the class. Jerk.

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