Bad 80's Music Videos: Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)

You know, I was a part of the Journey resurgence on your local college campuses as their power ballads just seem to end up reverberating around in your drunken haze thanks to some frat-ass playing it four times in a row for his "bros."

To answer why this Journey video seems too epic, Steve Perry think that chicks are attracted to mullets hanging out on docks playing invisible or plastic instruments. An appropriate response would be "in your dreams," but then you forget that Steve Perry is smarter than you, and yes it is indeed all a dream - of the girl...?

Oh shit, INCEPTION.

 

YTMND Weekly #4

I warn you, do not watch if you are squeemish of Shatners: WUB WUB WUB

(NSFW) I heard rumors that there was a lost Seinfeld episode that was too racy to air: Lost episode (reload)

Oprah's favorite things recently broke the news again, revealing that Oprah is, indeed, the devil: BEES!

The Lions football team have had many problems with their secondary, though this one I'll chalk up to mutants: What the fuck happened?

The new episodes of Futurama on Comedy Central seemed a little undercooked, and really made me realize why it went of the air; I do appreciate the somewhat recent cultural reference: Farnsworth got you something...

Battle: Los Angeles Trailer!

Saving Private Ryan + Black Hawk Down + Independence Day = Battle: Los Angeles.

Seriously, screw Skyline, this is finally going to be the apocalyptic alien event movie that will supplant ID4 as the best "action" alien flick.

YTMND Weekly #3

Hah, prepubescent stoner internet ranting: Got Caught

It was a horrible movie, so I am not surprised I didn't catch this before: A trick of the lighting perhaps?

A literal interpretation of the Jurassic Park theme: Dinosaur! WTF...

It's quite effective, and I really can't get enough: TEEN BLOW JOB

I want to do it to my GM sometimes: eff you
....no wait I'll probably be forced to be more subtle: Jack Nicholson Toaster Strudel (?)

In the sequel to Go! Bwah! :::  Woah! Daaaaah!

Reminder: plz go get AC: Brotherhood

The game is everything you want out of an AC title, but the added gem is a thoroughly entertaining multi-player that so far exceeds expectations, and sadly the capacity of Ubisoft's online servers. Good luck getting a multi-player game in peak hours; but if you do, know that you will be treated to a pretty thrilling experience. Basically, Ubisoft needs to get its shit together and let more people enjoy it while the game is hot.

Your Highness red-band Trailer!

This looks like my comedy wet dream.

"I hate triangle face - it scares me!"

More Your Highness Videos

Cowboys and Aliens Trailer!

This has to be the weirdest mash-up in a while. It takes place in 1860, and I am sure I would have seen it had it only been a western with Daniel Craig doing his best Indiana Jones (who also happens to be in the movie) now that the James Bond franchise is stuck in MGM's bankruptcy limbo. Harrison Ford looks to be playing it a bit campy as the initial baddy, but hopefully that will change when the aliens probe him.
 
It's directed by John Favreu, so it's going to LOOK amazing (ala Iron Man), but some of his decisions in the Iron Man sequel left me a bit miffed;  my biggest gripes may have been because of the pressure to incorporate and build on the Avengers plotline - which really came off as awkward and fucked up the pacing at times. Not to mention, the ending and final action set piece really fell flat due robots flying around and fighting in the DARK and a final confrontation that was lame in it's brevity and a little too "videogame endboss." Here's hoping that Iron Man 2 was more of an aberration.

Wolverine 2 NOT a sequel?

Hit Fix has a few intriguing details as to why Wolverine gets a sequel - and why the hell Darren Aronofsky would even WANT to direct it.

Well it appears that Wolverine 2 is not actually Wolverine 2, but The Wolverine - a "one-shot" standalone flick based on Wolverine's attempts to claw-shiv ninjas. It's based on a esoteric story-arc that had Wolverine basically assume the roll of a wandering Samurai at the turn of the 20th century and "bone-clawing" things up as a pre-Weapon-X badass.

Aronofsky, though, seems to have modernized the tail a bit (ala Iron Man), to make up for Hugh Jackman's aging Wolverine.

I really wasn't a fan of Jackman's last solo-Wolverine flick (which he got producer's credits for), due to the lameness of the action and anachronistic placement of mutants just for the sake of a few extra box-office bucks. If you are going to do a solo-wolverine movie, you have to just let him go into feral badass mode and bring the "slice n' dice."

Obviously, the best X-Men movie, X-men 2: Wolverine Stabs the Fridge, had a couple of scenes that encompassed what any normal human would want and expect out of a "good" Wolverine movie.

Exhibit A:



Exhibit B:



Is more of that TOO much to ask? The new movie will probably confuse people since they are using the same actor but placing him outside the established movie-canon; that might not be a bad choice since the last 2 movies have pretty much destroyed the entire mythos. With the "X-men: First Class" looming as a "reboot/prequel" with Hugh Jackman also making a cameo as Wolverine, the whole franchise may be on its last legs (with Marvel Studios hopefully getting back the movie rights from Fox) unless both new movies deliver on some level. It's hard for me to trust a studio like Fox which has bungled things before.

On Enslaved: Odyssey of the West

posted originally @ http://greyprince.wordpress.com/
 
I have often been told that the mark of a good storyteller is brightest when the audience is left wanting more. Whether it was the characters who swooned us into caring for them, the world that sprouted to life in our minds eye, or the conclusion that forced us to leave our imaginary escape and come back to reality, there is a delicate balance required to craft a tale that not just impresses us, but makes us believe in its existence.  These stories—and those who tell them—are seldom given the praise they rightly deserve because they never quite seem to find enough ears willing to listen. But for those few who do, oh how they are rewarded. Enslaved: Odyssey to the West marries unique and imaginative storytelling with brilliant dialogue spoken by original characters to suck us into a postapocalyptic world that is as beautiful and vibrant as it is sorrowful and morose for those who live in it.

Enslaved is Ninja Theory’s sophomore effort in the video game industry, following their premiere title Heavenly Sword back in 2007. While brief in length and lacking in impact, Ninja Theory implemented motion capture technology to help bring the characters and cut scenes to more life. The result was, in some peoples’ minds, the first time a game has presented characters capable of physically showing complicated human emotions. Instead of relative sadness, anger, and fear, we see rage, terror, regret, desperation, and even love. Acclaimed actor Andy Serkis was hired to direct the cut scenes, and the quality of acting came through as impressive as if on the silver screen. For Enslaved, Ninja Theory smartly chose to keep this process sacred and changed very little. Serkis reprised his role and did motion capture for one of the game’s protagonists, Monkey. They also hired screenwriter Alex Garland (28 Days Later, Sunshine, The Beach) to develop the game script with the intention of crafting dialogue that was both believable and imaginative without trying to sound forced, artificial or too florid. Garland uses his gift of writing by infusing personalities to each character that are both starkly different from one another and yet relatable enough for them to form an emotional bond together. The environment and level design also impress by finding a harmonic balance between lush nature and crumbling urban sprawl. Unfortunately, rough patches of buggy design, frame rate issues, and slow combat mechanics prevent Enslaved from becoming a game of amazing quality and serve as noticeable distractions that take you out of the entire experience.

Set 150 years in the future, humanity hangs on the edge of extinction after a great war with a race of robots. Their origin remains a mystery much like the rest of history before the war, as those who survived simply try to move on and stay alive. Monkey and Trip meet aboard a slaver ship that malfunctions and crash lands outside the ruins of New York city. Trip, knowing her odds of survival are slim on her own, uses her affinity for technology by reprogramming a circlet used by the slavers to keep slaves from rebelling and places it on Monkey while unconscious. Trading one form of slaver for another, Monkey’s life will end if he gets too far away from Trip or if she loses her own life. This forced companionship, however unwanted, inevitably leads to a path of discovery for both characters as they new strength within themselves and each other.
The companionship also serves as the primary combat mechanic for the rest of the game as the two must depend upon each other’s talents to overcome various “mechs” they come across.  Hiding behind cover, Trip provides distractions for mechs to fire upon while you maneuver Monkey in closer for the real damage. Monkey’s staff is his only weapon in his arsenal, but it also carries the capacity to fire bolts of energy at oncoming enemies, something that plays a more important role as the game progresses. Combat remains relatively the same throughout the game, but it also means the flaws never improve. There is a noticeable lag time between inputting a command and Monkey performing the action, which throws off the dodge and counter attack facets of combat. This really starts to become frustrating in the second half of the game when enemies come in larger groups and require precise timing between attacking and dodging. Moreover, the camera tends to be a few feet too close to Monkey most of the time, narrowing the player’s view of the combat field which makes it very difficult to keep track of multiple enemies. Fairly often I would actually have to run around in a circle or two during combat just to find the next mech to destroy. The frame rate also stood out as on oddity as it was rock steady the entire game, yet felt as though is was always a tad too slow. There was never a point when too many things were occurring on screen at any one time, and considering Ninja Theory’s past experience with the PS3 hardware, I found it peculiar that they were not looking to test the graphical boundaries. It may have been an artistic choice slow the frame rate in terms of presenting a grittier feel to the game, or it may simply be laziness on the designers’ part.

As repetitive as the combat becomes, it is broken up by nicely varied set pieces thriving with action and unexpected intensity. From chasing after Trip to save her life (and your own) to climbing a rapidly deteriorating sky scraper, Ninja Theory serves up a healthy dose of adrenaline neatly packaged in various styles and methods. I was especially impressed when a certain set piece was able to deliberately slow down the pacing of the chapter but increase the brutality of the whole event. The culminating boss fight ends in a glorious shower of metal and oil that would make the God of War developers blush. Finally, the ending provides an extra science fiction twist on an already science fiction tale, but unsurprisingly leaves the world open for a sequel. The over arching story is certainly completed, but with the amount of care taken in breathing real life into these characters and their dilapidated existence, I hope the ending is also an indication of things to come. The companionship between Trip and Monkey evolved both naturally and believable, a feat rarely seen in modern gaming, and I wouldn’t mind seeing it grow in future installments.

It is difficult to say how Enslaved: Odyssey to the West should be approached in order to be fully enjoyed. As an action title, it serves enough to keep the buttons being pressed and the analog sticks moving, but lacks any real depth or customization that other titles have. As an adventure game, it spans several locations across a region, but the grander picture of the entire world is still left to be discovered. Rather, Enslaved rests in a nebulous middle ground that dabbles in both genres without subscribing to either. Part action and part adventure, Enslaved can best be enjoyed if you are willing to be a part of it’s world. Perhaps its greatest strength—one that sets it apart from its brethren—is its heart. What it lacked in physical power or mental capacity, it more than makes up in boldness of storytelling and emotional development, and those will always last much longer than a well choreographed explosion.


See you in the next level,

Gray

YTMND Weekly #2

Chinese Man Gets Into It


1920's Arnold Shares His Deepest Feelings

omg, secret Nazi Riker


Judge Wonka Throw's the Case Out


Darth Vader Gets His Christmas Wish

The Unameable

Inception Animals

So wait, the cupcakes inceptioned the dog?

The Power is On

watch who's comin at you
why? who's got the power?
watch whos comin at you
if you might allow her
watch who's comin at you
why? who's comin through?
one, a bit right then we got two
watch who's comin at you
but don't fuss
watch who's gonna get you back on the bus
watch you change your lightbulb
then you take a shower
watch who's comin at you
why? who's got the power?

Tron Legacy - Trailer 3!

I need to get a leather-bound fem-bot with laser fingers...

Offensive Defense: Bottom Feeding

Another weekend, and another set of Hindenburg-like disasters from the Longhorns and Cowboys. The level of beat-down and the sheer amount of quit that is pervasive through the two teams have made me dread even watching them. It's like looking at two ugly mirror images.

The Longhorn, for all their preseason bluster, are plumbing new depths of fail in the Mack Brown era with each passing week. The last time the Longhorns were this bad, a coaching change swiftly followed. Brown himself opened up the bag of worms when he put every coach or assistant coach on notice, but the threats seem to have fallen on the deaf ears of the players who may be clamoring for the Muschamp regime to start earlier than perhaps Mack was anticipating. Brown himself has admitted that his role in recent years has found him as more of a CEO than head-coach, and his willing lack of presence as he prepares himself for better things has left his team wanting. There is no rallying figure to bridge the rift in the philosophies of the offensive and defensive coaches.

Clearly, Gilbert has been mismanaged by Greg Davis worse than Britney Spears, and his attempt at reinventing the offense poorly conceived. The "pro-style offense" is great and all with the right personnel, but why recruit a kid that was borne out of the spread? He has no go to possession receivers, a "senior" line that seems easily confused by simple defensive stunts by their opponents, and no dominant running-back to take the pressure off and open up the game and dominate time of possession. Why press when you don't have the personnel? Pressing, though, has been all that Gilbert is able to do, with his most recent attempt matching historical Longhorn totals for interceptions in one game. This recruiting class was supposed to have been special, so either the kids that were brought in have been totally unprepared (which falls on the coaches), or they are prepared but unresponsive (which falls on the coaches).

Mr. Davis, the game has passed you by.

Muschamp's defense and its recent problems seems easier to diagnose as full-scale "quitting." In some respects, once the bottom falls off along with the expectations for the season it's probably human nature to just get the year over with as fast as possible. Why get up the energy when the kids on the offensive side of the ball and special teams are hemorrhaging points off turnovers and can't produce? Even still, the fact that there seems to be very little self-respect or UT pride on display should is pretty alarming and points to Mack's laissez-faire CEO approach.

So wholesale changes are "on the way," but that's exactly where things get interesting. If there are sweeping coaching changes, who is tasked with rebuilding the staff and the team? Is it Mack Brown, whose waning attention has resulted in the meltdown? Is it Will Muschamp, the coach in waiting? For his pride's sake, I find it difficult to believe that Mack would allow himself to go out like this, but what would it have mattered to even name Muschamp the "coach-in-waiting" if he isn't even given the opportunity to hire his own staff?

It pains me, but the only excitement I get from football are the prospects of change in the off-season.

Speaking of off-season - I can't wait for the Cowboys'. No really, I wish I could wait, but I sit on baited breath, waiting for news of the axe coming down on Wade's marshmallow-man noggin. First and foremost, Jerryworld needs to divorce himself as the GM and just focus on owning the damn team, because clearly his greasy Wingstop fingers have been mucking up the works for 16 long years. Really bro, trade away all your backup linemen - I love to watch long-toothed QB's get rag-dolled.




At least I have, my Los eSpurs. The team looks injected with quality youth, with Blair playing the bruiser to Splitter's finesse. I really can't wait to see Tiago take on Lama-face - it is going to be epic. Honestly, they have two pretty solid rotations and the size down low with Splitter/Blaire/McDyse/Duncan to push around anyone in the league. The frail and suspect crew from the 2009-2010 season that had Pop "experimenting" with rotations deep into January is now suddenly deep at almost every position. Oh yeah, it's also going to be 2011, when the astral alignment will be in place to win a championship because it's an "Odd-year."

Thank god, because 2010 can suck a green weenie.

Shy Ronnie 2.0: Ronnie and Clyde

Loved the first one, and this too was a decent follow-up. Thanks Hulu, because I sure as hell wouldn't watch SNL otherwise.





Also, as a bonus for Galafinakis' Due Date coming out this weekend - here is by far my favorite sketch from last year's hosting gig:

YTMND Weekly Top 5

Assets and Targets

Go! Bwaaah!

bond, james gif

Kurt Russell's Protection Program

Chris Tucker is the only one listening

SUCKERPUNCH Trailer

Ok firstly, this is the most insane smattering of images I have seen digitized on one screen together. So you are a girl in an insane asylum who ends up in a dance class that teaches you how to go imagine yourself as a Japanese schoolgirl that, oddly, also happens to be a samurai who fights robots and dragons (key word: insane asylum).

I mean I'll take it - but I'd like to see what tricks he'll pull to make me believe that somehow all those hot girls would end up and the same insane asylum. That shit would never happen.