Terminocity

Terminal Reviews: Darkness 2

2012-02-28T14:02:00.000-06:00

Yes, we all probably thought it. This game is a lot like this (with more disemboweling):

At its core, Darkness 2 is actually quite gripping. Tales of love and loss are always best narrated from the heart, bearing tones of vengeance and grief simultaneously. While at times literally wreathing with power, Jackie is keenly grounded with emotional weakness and doubt in himself. If a game can convince me to empathize with a mafia boss, some success is merited.

The Darkness 2 is a noted improvement over the original title in many respects, particularly in the artistic department. This is yet another game that illustrates how cel-shading can be used effectively without making the overall experience appear kiddy or childish. Most of the game takes place at night, yet the constant darker color palettes are accentuated ever so slightly by cel-shading, pronouncing subtle levels of difference between the different blacks, grays and twilights. The visuals match the plot and story almost perfectly and give the campaign an appreciated boost.

Unfortunately, that campaign does not last nearly as long as it deserves, clocking out right around six hours. While I am in favor of stories that don’t dawdle and fill hours of time with collection missions or side quests without story or purpose, Darkness 2 appears to have the opposite problem in that it ends to soon. Without needing to comply to the regular standards required in an origin story, sequels are allowed to explore new avenues and help the characters achieve new personal plateaus–something this story almost achieves. As Jackie grieves for his lost love Jennie, he must also question his sanity and even his own reality. As he seeks to confront his inner demons (figuratively and literally), this new chapter of life is briefly touched upon near the end of the story, yet the implications would lead to hours of fascinating turns on the evolving plot. Perhaps this was a deliberate choice to hold on for a future title, or it is simply a missed opportunity.

Accompanying the single-player story is a co-op Vendetta mode centering on the simpler, more visceral shoot-em-up set pieces. Available for up to 4 players, each person is granted a weapon attuned to the same Darkness malevolence, but without the tentacles. In its place are weapons that are an interesting amalgamation of violence, ranging from an arcane staff that can literally snap people in half, to a demonic sword or a a rifle that can be charged up and released at your foes. While the creative violence is a change of pace from the story, the missions themselves are lacking in story and any type of emotional impact. This shouldn’t be viewed as a detriment, however, as the central purpose of these missions are less about the narrative elements and more about the collaborative death that can be accomplished by 4 hungry mobsters with guns.

I remember playing the original Darkness game and feeling rather underwhelmed by the whole experience. While the idea of a demonic presence infusing a low level mobster with unending levels of destruction is no doubt unique, it didn’t feel compelling enough to warrant a sequel. Fortunately, I am happy to see the incredible improvement in this second foray with the Darkness brooding inside Jackie. Darkness 2 is another perfect example of developers listening to criticism and responding in accordance. As a result, a third Darkness game is almost a sure thing, provided the developers see enough financial return from this title. I for one will be rooting for it. There is darkness within us all, but it cannot exist without giving rise to hope.

See you in the next level,
Gray

Terminal Reviews - Star Wars: The Old Republic

2012-02-20T20:43:00.003-06:00

****Editor’s Note: Because of their nature, MMO games are very difficult to review entirely. As such, I have tried to encompass as many details as possible, but I freely admit there are many aspects I have overlooked. Also, this review is MUCH longer than my usual boundaries, so don’t feel compelled to finish, nor feel bad if you choose to skim. With that, enjoy.

In my younger years, my first grapple with the MMO genre was with a devious game called Everquest. As a denizen of the world of Norrath, my Half-Elf Paladin was one of hundreds of thousands of people taking their first steps in what many of us didn’t recognize to be a bold new genre of video game. I was thirteen at the inception of my first character, but it wouldn’t occur to me until my third year of playing that I dawned upon some of the MMO genre’s greater machinations for the entire industry. For years my father, brother and I toiled away at the keyboard; kiting, pulling and dying countless times over simply to have the satisfaction of filling just one tiny portion of our experience bar. While championed for its higher difficulty and lack of forgiveness to even the most innocent player, Everquest was a trial-by-fire for most gamers, and its flaws became difficult to ignore.

Not too much time later, Everquest was succeeded by the still-undisputed king of MMO gaming, World of Warcraft. Where Everquest sought to achieve a world of roleplaying intensity and personal dedication, the minds at Blizzard took a more scientific approach to success. By creating content that appeals directly to one of four distinct types of gamers–explorers, achievers, socializers and killers–it was all but impossible for a gamer to not find something to enjoy while strolling through Azeroth. Coupled with an easier learning curve and a specific focus on reward rather than punishment, World of Warcraft quickly escalated the MMO genre to new levels of untapped potential. Since its launch in 2004, WoW has been the icon of MMO superiority and few others of its kind have even scratched at the success Blizzard has reaped.

But if there is one lesson I have learned from my ongoing romances with being a nerd, it is that perfection and evolution will be lifelong enemies. As I once transferred my online passions from Everquest to WoW, I have repeated from World of Warcraft to Bioware’s long anticipated MMO Star Wars: The Old Republic. The passage of time will always open the door to greater degrees of criticism, especially for games like MMO’s that are never truly complete. Unlike most games that incubate in development for years before a final product is released, MMOs seem to perpetually exist in a purgatory between polished content and bold concepts that beg to be included, yet are without proper direction and professional testing. With that in mind, a reviewer is tasked with playing (and evaluating) and game that, in essence, will never be finished. In this regard, games like The Old Republic stand unique. Other accredited sites such as Game Informer, IGN, or Kotaku always do their best to encompass as much they can with what little time they are given, and in that sense I attempted to do the same.

The philosophy of Old Republic is quite similar to its predecessors in that a player must choose a side, a race, and a class to properly define their role in society. Fortunately for Bioware, the Star Wars franchise tends to have more iconic roles that even casual fans are familiar with. To parallel the roles played in the Star Wars movies, players can choose between being Jedi, Sith, Han Solo-esque smugglers, Bounty Hunters, Republic troopers or Imperial Agents. Character creation is fairly straight forward in terms of physical customization and class decision, but given the great detail to weapons and armor most physical traits will largely go unnoticed as they are buried underneath more intricate layers of cloth and metal. To be completely honest, I paid little attention to my race and whatever facial scars I gave him as past experience dictated most attention would be paid to how “badass” I looked when standing in any given public place.

From there, players are quickly introduced into the universe Bioware has painstakingly produced to create what I believe is the closest experience to the Star Wars universe since the original trilogy. For years Bioware has been expertly crafting entire encyclopedias’ worth of lore and historical impact for every game they develop, and Old Republic is no different. As the authors of the acclaimed Knights of the Old Republic games, it stands to reason they alone could create a world that not only adhered to the mechanical rules of an MMO, but could also tell several distinct stories that compelled the player across an entire galaxy to complete. From the first introductory cinematic to the climactic final battle, every single class carries a story arc that travels with them from level one to fifty. For most game developers it would be enough to stop there; eight separate story lines that must keep each player traveling from planet to planet is difficult enough, but those at Bioware have long known the best details lie in the smallest places.

For years, the term “grinding” has become an unfortunate process for MMO games: acquire quests, kill monsters, gain experience, reach the next level, and repeat. No matter the person, place or setting, this was long considered the ‘norm’. I admit to knowing this concept while playing WoW as it was a somewhat satisfying quality I had grown accustomed to since Everquest. While I freely admit the Old Republic is victim to the same process, the attention paid to context makes almost all the difference in the world. Like World of Warcraft, the majority of your time is spent completing ‘missions’ to gain money and equipment, but Bioware pushed the boundaries further by giving every single story, mission and group instance its own unique story and context. Whenever I am slaughtering Jedi or infiltrating a Republic base, the conversations with the AI characters and background intelligence I gather all but dissipate that feeling of grinding. In a sense, the experience I was rewarded was more of a byproduct to furthering the story thread itself, as I was more committed to helping the Empire solidify their presence on a certain planet and help weaken the Republic. It may seem as a finite quality to have, but around level thirty you will appreciate how much you are still invested in the story rather than getting closer and closer to the level cap.

Furthermore, the voice acting given to every single AI character you interact with is no easy or unnoticed accomplishment. If the plot is a vehicle you’re interested in buying, the voice acting is the salesman that hands it you. No matter the mission, the voice acting remains varied and professional across the entire game and will remain one of Bioware’s shining accolades. The sheer amount of different accents, dialects and languages you encounter across the entire game will be more than enough to make you appreciate how much effort went into pushing the boundaries of storytelling in an MMO atmosphere.

Although the combat formula is relatively unchanged from World of Warcraft, it is certainly no less familiar. Players will have several unique abilities meant to attack the enemy or heal themselves, combined with specialty skills that contribute to group efforts. As players progress, they are given the opportunity to choose a sub-class that gives them a unique set of abilities specific to their role in the game. If you are a more defensive player, Bounty Hunters can become Mercenaries that have special healing abilities for themselves or others. For those that are more inclined for damage dealing, Jedi knights and Sith warriors can customize their abilities to affect several enemies at once and help put out as much as damage as possible. Moreover, personal morals come into play in almost every mission as dialogue trees give specific points to the light or dark side of their character. If a player is a man of mercy, letting P.O.W’s survive will promise light-side points, but deciding to kill the lot and cover up the evidence will lead to dark-side points. Advancements in either side lead to unique rewards that can only be worn by people of pure benevolence or evil, thereby furthering a player’s desire to polarize their character to one side or another.

player-versus-player combat has become a significant portion of modern day MMO games, and it is with some regret that I found the Old Republic’s offering a bit lacking. Standard group arenas provide the most natural form of combat between sides, but the newer aspects are where Bioware’s game lacks the most polish. In the higher levels, players are granted access to an entire planet dedicated to PvP combat, yet in most cases players of both sides will find themselves cooperating with the enemy simply to achieve mission objectives for experience and better equipment. While the idea of an entire PvP planet is potentially impressive, the execution leaves something to be desired. If future patches implement specific bonuses to abilities, increased experience gain or access to unique story missions, the ideal conditions will prevail and players will slay each other as originally intended. Fortunately, other aspects prove to be innovative perspectives on cooperation in regards to an arena called “Huttball”. In this arena, players attempt to fight each other while they move a large ball into the enemy’s territory. It may seem simple enough, but even the smallest degree of organized teamwork and the operation becomes an intense tug-of-war between offense and defense that keeps the PvP scene fresh. Additional modes and concepts like these are sure to reinvigorate the currently flawed PvP system and give Star Wars the lightsaber/force choking tour de force it deserves.

It is an obvious truth that all genres of gaming are subject to natural evolution. As Everquest provided a rudimentary structure to a 3D online gaming environment, World of Warcraft built upon it by providing a more inviting and casual process that reduced the punishment and punctuated the rewards for advancement that all types of players could enjoy. From there, the Old Republic continues the evolution by infusing that same process with an engaging plot that maintains intrigue and suspense from beginning to end. Though not without flaws, The Old Republic deserves its worthy praise for its polish, balance and execution of combat and narrative development that are without rival in the MMO genre. In the months and years to come, there is no question that the minds at Bioware have created a product that may finally rival its competition in a way not seen before. My only hope in the coming future is that no matter how successful the Old Republic may be, it will not make the same mistakes its predecessors have since learned to avoid.

See you in the next level,

Gray

Stream of Consciousness (AKA Balls Deep)

2012-01-12T13:30:00.000-06:00

One thing I realized very quickly is that writing in the history field is, lets just say, technical. So ubiquitously dry in fact that almost every modern publication follows the forumulaic equation of:

Thesis + evidence = just enough slight variations on what you probably already know as to be believable.

Thankfully, that means in terms of degree of analytical difficulty, the writing in history can be distilled pretty easily into poorly adjusted rote narratives. Modern historical analyses don't take chances or explore new and budding aspects of the field. It's boring as hell reading vaguely similar prose all the time and hoping for some 100 Years of Solitude, time-folding magic realism narrative that reduces the unstable and fluid nature of turn of the 20th century Latin American regime changes down to a singular context of one fami -- OH GOD I CAN'T STOP!

Yeah, I need to enjoy not writing like that for the next five days. Luckily, since I had the opportunity to quit the country club with the acceptance of an instructional assistant position in Texas State history department, I've been able to kick back and play the shit out of some games.

I pimped out the computer, probably as a means to coping with the predictable failure of a Jerry Jones built Dallas Cowboys team. There are vestiges still left of the Parcell's group in Romo and Witten, but the secondary has been a liability for what, the last decade? If you were to defeat Jerry in combat, his apprentice son would only rise to become the new Sith master. Can you tell I have been playing the Old Republic? It's very much like the preview build I played over the summer, but with all my major qualms fixed. It does take a horse of a PC to fully enjoy the experience, but upgrades purchased and installed through 3rd party computer parts vendors could get you going from $300-400.

Hey remember that time I told you about how awesome this fantasy football year was going to be? Oh you don't, well here is a refresher:

Do not want.

If you ever want to make me gush about having awesome younger brothers, just ask me - I find I love doing it. They are smart, funny, handsome, and I think I had a hand (or multiple fists/kicks) in making them the nicest guys you'll ever meet. It's also refreshing to know that a collaboration between myself and my younger brother could produce a comic version FunnyJunk detailing a Summer at the Academy misadventure.

I am beginning to hate the feral cat that is antagonizing my dog through the back-door glass. It's not so much that he does it, but how he does it.

As much as I have focused on doing school right (all night), I also need to remind myself how lucky I am to have the wife that I do, who is so supportive and, also, the nicest gal ever. She gives me a pretty long leash, and keeps me striving to be a better husband. Now that my schedule is a set one, it'll be much easier to sit down and make a calender of all that we should do together. Looking forward to trips to IKEA, Bed Bath and Beyond, and Central Market. Totes serious, y'all.

I leave you with a couple of trailers that melt my heart. See you at the end of next semester!

Terminal Review: Zelda is Supreme

2011-12-23T13:23:00.000-06:00

****NOTE: This was also posted December 6th on the SA Current’s website, under the blog titled “People’s Gamer”. I am re-posting it here to keep my professional and personal work together for others to find. Hope you enjoy!

Cast aside what prejudices you have against Nintendo; let go of the fanboy arguments and die-hard allegiances you may belong to. Video games are, like other media, diverse and fascinatingly engaging. They are about telling stories, about paralleling reality, about imbuing power in the hands of the player. But underneath all of that, there is a common element among all games–having fun. The Legend of Zelda has been Nintendo’s flagship series since the days of the NES. Most would agree that Zelda games are system pushers, guaranteed to put Nintendo’s newest console in the homes of many, and they’d be right.

But Skyward Sword is not simply a Wii-pusher. It is not worthy of settling for such casual adjectives like “great” “entertaining” or “moving”. It is what I can only admire as a video game masterpiece. Seldom are games made that can perfect the balance between passion, technology, adventure and innovation so intuitively–and I’ll gladly admit the Wii is a system far removed from the term “intuitive”. But Nintendo has no qualms taking time and patience when it comes to their precious Zelda series, and it shows brighter here than ever before.

At its heart, Skyward Sword is a story about childhood friends coming through for one another. Link and Zelda share a definite emotional bond that surpasses anything depicted from past Zelda games. Though the story turns into one about destiny and salvation, Skyward Sword never strays from the friendship these two share as you can feel the emotion emanate from Link each time he gets closer and closer to saving Zelda.

But Nintendo also ensured the “destiny” portion would not be left waning either. As the story unfolds, you are shown the deepest insight into the legends of the Triforce and Master Sword than ever before, each temple seemingly unfolding one more chapter into Zelda lore that fans have been clamoring for ages to know. For the hardest of core, Skyward Sword does not disappoint. Perhaps the game’s greatest achievement is intertwining these distinct yet connected stories into one poetic tale about two friends discovering more about themselves–and their world–than they ever thought possible.
Speaking of the world, Skyward Sword takes the Zelda franchise to the skies and beyond, literally. Traveling is accomplished by soaring through the skies on the back of Link’s trusted bird, called a Loftwing. Taking full advantage of the Wii Motion Plus addition to the Wii Mote, tilting and angling the Wii mote is all that’s needed to send link gliding through the clouds from one land to another. For those who remember Wind Waker, flying definitely brings back memories of sailing through the ocean on Link’s talking ship, but now feels perfectly refined and incredibly easy to use.

But Skyward Sword’s biggest challenge was integrating that same level of integration into combat. Since we first learned that Link would have true one-to-one combat motion with the player’s movements, everyone has been wondering if Nintendo could actually pull it off, unlike Twilight Princess’ constant waggling motion as an excuse for sword swinging. After playing through Skyward Sword, however, I don’t think I can ever go back to normal button-mashing ever again. The combat controls are so smooth and precise to my own movements that at times, I admit to even feeling a bit like Link himself. Most of the enemies you face in Skyward Sword are built on this new premise as well, quick to punish those who try to mindlessly swing their way through the crowds. Temple bosses don’t just take the usual 3-round attacks to die; each of them require a new level of timing and precision that no Zelda before has ever come close to.

Also new to the series is the ability to customize your equipment. Through the collection of various bugs and items dropped by monsters, Link can exchange them for unique upgrades to either his equipment or potions. A few rare bugs will boost a red potion to maximum efficiency, while a few monster horns and ancient flowers can upgrade your bow’s damage (though to be fair, I’m not quite sure how that works). While the upgrade process works great, the collection portion has a few nagging issues. The sensitivity of catching bugs quickly becomes more frustrating than it is worth, and the constant sub-window popping up every time I collect something occurs so often you’d mistake it for Navi from Ocarina of Time (HEY! LISTEN! YOU PICKED UP AN EVIL CRYSTAL! HEY! LISTEN! YOU PICKED UP SOME MORE MONSTER TAILS! and so on…)

Finally, I want to commend Skyward Sword for the natural feeling of evolution from beginning to end. While it is true most developers strive for a narrative backbone that can progress relatively naturally from one point to another without sacrificing depth or pacing, it is incredibly difficult to achieve. While most of the Zelda games are excellent in their own right, I never quite felt like the story was taking me somewhere besides simply saving a royal princess. Skyward Sword, on the other hand, succeeds where its predecessors could not. Perhaps it is because of the emotional context stated earlier, but I believe it’s much more than that. As one progresses through Skyward Sword, the narrative leaps are never too great, and the feeling of something being left out or avoiding plot holes has completely disappeared. It is an adventure in its purest form, from beginning to end. Blazing new trails while paying humble homage to what made past games so memorable, Skyward Sword is both a tribute and a new chapter for the Legend of Zelda series.

Though I’m sure Nintendo has many more triforce related stories to tell us, I’m happy to say this is undoubtedly the greatest Zelda game ever made, and one of the greatest games ever designed.

Gray Reviews Uncharted 3

2011-11-08T12:54:00.000-06:00

***NOTE: This was originally written for the video game blog on the SA Current website titled “people’s gamer”, I am reposting it here to keep it bundled with my other work. If you enjoy it, feel free to check out the rest of this site, or my work over on the Current. Enjoy!

The times when people look back over the years to utter something like, “Now that’s how it’s done!” are admittedly few and far between. In video game debates, they’re even fewer. But once in a while there comes a time — stars align, lightning in a bottle, Rick Perry says something intelligent, whichever you prefer — when everything just clicks. The Uncharted series has been nothing but outstanding since the original title debuted back in 2007, but the boys at Naughty Dog have done the near-impossible. Roger Ebert can take his anti-game diatribe and suck it, Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception is both a video game and cinematic masterpiece.

Well, I don't think you CAN suck it anymore...

For those who haven’t had the pleasure of playing any of the Uncharted games yet, a quick summary: Nathan Drake, a descendant of the famous explorer Sir Francis Drake, is a wily, charming, yet somewhat lackadaisical thrill seeker and treasure hunter. All games of the franchise have revolved around some kind of plot regarding a lost city or unimaginable ancient wealth. Uncharted 3 is no different in that way, Naughty Dog obviously didn’t want to tread the same terrain again. This time, designers take a proven plot-line as a background to tell a much richer character-driven story about Drake and his mentor/partner Sully. While the earlier games revolved around Drake platforming and gunning his way to stop the bad guys just in the nick of time, Drake and Sully are in this together nearly the entire way, which adds a more compelling nature to the intensity. Not only is Drake getting himself into trouble, but he’s also putting Sully’s life in danger as well and, let’s face it, he ain’t exactly in the prime of life either.

Dropping Sully off at the nursing home from hell.

To most, platforming can sometimes be a mixed-bag. Hell, anyone who’s ever played Mario or Mega Man knows about that, but the Uncharted series takes it a step further with some fantastic set pieces. Uncharted 3 just about goes for broke with Drake facing a capsizing ship one minute and falling out of a cargo plane at 20,000 feet the next. There are times when the platforming seems a tad bit out of place (particularly when Drake is climbing the side of buildings in the middle of the day, in the middle of town, for example) but these are rare enough that they never feel repetitive. The true magic behind Uncharted 3 is how much the formula has been mixed up, in a good way. From one corner to another, Uncharted 3 keeps you guessing about what’s going to happen next. Just when you’re about to guess the next huge escape or next gunfight, Naughty Dog throws something out of left field and changes the sequence entirely.

Cue Indian Jones homage

The cinematic quality of Uncharted 3 is just as stellar, if not more so, than ever before. I’m not sure how Naughty Dog has learned to write such fleshed-out characters or such a tight and entertaining script, but I wish they could give seminars to other developers to show them how it’s done. From the beginning, one of the best features of the Uncharted series has been the characters because they stay so true to themselves. No matter how major or minor the person’s role, Naughty Dog clearly shows the highest attention to detail not just to the environment or the combat, but to the people we are supposed to connect with and feel for. We know Drake is a wise-cracking everyman without too much care in the world, but it’s in his friendship with Sully that we see an entirely new part of him emerge. It’s a wonderfully fresh detail given how many ladies Drake has saved in his day.

I could go on and on, but there’s really nothing I can say without rambling over the same point again and again. From start to end, Drake’s Deception is nothing but a thrill-ride of adventure and emotion brimming with tight gunplay and a wildly entertaining script and story. If there were ever a game to put on your Christmas list, this is it.

See you in the next level,
Gray

Gray Reviews Rage

2011-10-28T12:29:00.000-05:00

(****NOTE: This was posted on the SA Current’s weblog under the category People’s Gamer, on October 10th, 2011. I am re-posting it here to keep my work together and all in one place. Hope you enjoy!)

If you’re one of the many FPS fans out there and you don’t know who id Software is, then I highly suggest opening up Wikipedia and giving yourself a quick history lesson. Won’t take long…

No shit?

… You back? Good. So, id Software set the standard for FPS back in the early ’90s with some huge hits like Wolfenstein and Doom. Their last foray, however, was way back in 2004 with Doom 3, just before Valve changed the game withHalf-Life 2. In the years since, there’s been a lot of progress made by other studios and id was still quiet on what they had planned. When Rage was first shown at E3 in 2009, much of the older gaming community started salivating at the thought of the ol’ FPS champs coming back to the genre they made famous and showing the rest of the industry how it’s done. What kinds of innovation did they have in store for us? New control scheme? Dynamic story-telling and plot development? Revamped AI or new combat mechanics? None of these, actually. As it turns out, Rage is a very polished, very tight, very status-quo shooter that entertains without innovating.

Now I don’t want to convey the wrong feeling here — I thoroughly enjoyedRage. There is no doubt in my mind that id still knows how to make one solid FPS game. Unfortunately, Rage feels more like a shooter that’s playing catch-up with the new changes and never quite meets the expectations considering the programming pedigree id Software is known for. Perhaps this is a mistake on my part for setting my own expectations too high, or I am being too critical of a title that only means to entertain; nevertheless, I left Rage wanting just a little more.

Rage puts you in the boots of yet another silent protagonist emerging from a vault used to protect mankind from an asteroid that struck the planet in 2029. Life, however, didn’t stop on the surface but the primary inhabitants now are bandits, dismembered mutants, and other nasty horrors roaming the desert. You’re quickly thrown into the fray as many of the characters you come across conveniently use you as their new errand boy or contract killer. The story is one of the lackluster elements of Rage since it never feels important or compelling enough to drive the player forward. If anything, the promise of new weapons, equipment, and general loot is definitely more palpable than where the plot leads to. Over the 12 or 13 hours it takes to complete, it is only in the last few hours that the story stumbles upon its more intriguing parts.

It always pays to be the one with a post-apocalyptic monocle

Rage isn’t without it’s high points though. The visuals are nothing short of perfection; despite miles and miles of desert, canyons and valleys, tiny variations and nuances keep any environment from looking recycled. Incredible amounts of detail have been put into each character, weapon and vehicle that really serve to make some moments pop out. Even more impressive is how the entire game runs at a solid 60 frames per second. At no point during any skirmish or fire fight did the intensity ever slow down even for a moment, and that is no easy task to accomplish over such a large world environment.

Speaking on environment, the desert is filled with just about every ill-tempered baddie you’d expect to find in an irradiated wasteland. Rage‘s center point in combat is the variety of enemies you’ll encounter, each of them adding one more level of depth to your strategy. Much like your arsenal, which is comprised of long- and short-range weapons, each new enemy will seek to end you in some new format. Most mutants will sprint toward you in a hale of screams and thrashing, and some of the stronger units will hold back and rain carnage down from a distance. The designers at id went to great lengths to crank up the satisfaction of blasting a mutant and watching them crumble in some new way. In some cases, a well-placed shot will leave a mangled torso still attached to a set of legs still trying to crawl their way to you. Much like the slow-motion camera in the V.A.T.S. system from Fallout 3, the animations never get old to watch.

One underused facet of Rage is a vehicle used to traverse some of the game’s longer treks through the wasteland. Though the vehicle is mounted with rocket launchers and can obliterate bandits trying to run you down, there isn’t much else to use it for. There are points at which you can challenge others to racing matches, but they don’t serve the main story and don’t provide enough incentive to validate doing them. In short, the more entertaining parts of using a vehicle are, at best, just a distraction from both the plot and the more rewarding side quests.

The skull on the floor was probably a cue to leave.

Rage is not a bad game by any stretch of imagination. Quite the opposite, Rageis both expertly designed and incredibly entertaining when it wants to be. People looking for a shooter that forgoes the standard Call of Duty format will find this game absolutely thrilling and a refreshing change of pace. It’s only disappointment is that it could have been more — more compelling, more adventurous, more difficult than what we get. While it’s sometimes tremendously difficult to live up to the expectations of the masses, I feel that id Software has the talent and the experience to live up to its name, and Ragecould have been their return to the throne. But, perhaps for reasons personal to the studio, Rage is built more on what they know, and that’s not a bad thing either.

See you in the next level,

Gray

Avengers Trailer = NIN?

2011-10-13T02:23:00.002-05:00

So there is an actual real-life Avengers trailer out; it does a pretty good job of keeping the "big bads" a mystery. I have to admit, after this I do have more faith in Joss Whedon's writing - I am pretty much loving RDJ's dynamic with every other superhero on the docket. What I am not loving: the godawful and derivative Nine Inch Nails soundtrack. There is a try-hard in marketing needs to be axed, pronto.

If I had to guess why the Hulk is being kept under wraps, it's probably because he's going to be the X-factor that spawns the next round of character films. Rumor has it the next Avengers flick is going to be World War Hulk; the mass destruction the "green rage monster" is supposed to lay down in this movie is going to be a catalyst for the Avengers to conclude that the collateral damage attributed to Hulk is just to sever - so they'll ship him off to do the very epic solo "Planet Hulk" storyline.

For the laymen out there, that basically equates to Gladiator + Hulk on Alien Planet = Win. Then he comes back to fight the Avengers who kicked him off planet earth. Cool story bro!

Gray Reviews Resistance 3

2011-10-06T12:12:00.000-05:00

When the Playstation 3 first launched in 2006, the same string of spec articles and hardware matchups marched onto the web in classic form. Aside from buzz words like ‘cores’, ‘blu-ray’ and ‘HDMI’, the subject of launch titles ultimately took center stage. With a new plateau of graphical prowess at their control, it was obvious Sony needed a game that could both push systems (not that that was going to be an issue anyway) and become a staple of a consumer’s entertainment diet. Resistance: Fall of Man was the first PS3 title to surpass 1 million units, garnered universally positive acclaim and warranted additional attention.

To the surprise of many, however, this attention would not come without repercussions. While the Resistance games are directly linked in a narrative sense, the games themselves are distinct from one another in nearly every mechanical aspect, and it has been rarely for the better. Lacking the fresh innovation from the first, the tightly-honed pacing of the second, and the emotional appeal from either predecessor, Resistance 3 is an attractive yet faulty entry carrying little impact or appeal for the single-player campaign and a cookie-cutter multiplayer that borrows heavily from other FPS games.

Upon reflection of the entire Resistance legacy, I noticed that one of its foremost problems was Insomniac’s inability to settle into a rhythm. When initiating a sequel, it’s common philosophy to leave working qualities alone and revamp/replace the aspects that didn’t mesh well. Between each entry, the changes are sometimes so vast that the effect ripples into every other design aspect of the game, forcing tweaks in every category. When replacing the weapon wheel system from the first game in favor of the two-weapon switch most known in the Halo series for the second, the intended effect of increased pacing and anticipated intensity was achieved. Consequently, enemy encounters, automatic save points, the regenerative health capabilities–almost everything needed to be changed to accommodate this variation, thus creating a very different feel that many players were not amused with. The opportunity to select a weapon best fitting the encounter was sacrificed as well, basically forcing players to accept whatever weapon had the most ammunition. Resistance 3 sees the return of the weapon wheel coupled with a an experience system, allowing the player to upgrade their preferred guns. This is one of the few details R3 has over its predecessors and is a welcome addition, though the upgrades are relatively minor improvements. Most revolve around increasing the damage output, with a few of the higher upgrades allow for bodies to become walking explosives, or bullets to travel through light cover.

The visuals remain quality work for the developers at Insomniac. Although R3 sports the blandest of environments and eye-popping backgrounds, the frame rate and visual detail is top notch. No amount of action, no matter how atmospheric or biologically gruesome, the game looks sharp and responsive. Unfortunately, the positives just about come to a halt there. R3 carries a significant amount of bugs that can potentially halt gameplay entirely and force a restart. Clipping issues remain a constant foe as enemies can appear and disappear at any given time. At one point, I was instructed to protect someone as they repaired an elevator to progress through the mine. After clearing the room, I waited while the NPC seemed to just stare at the broken engine. Though the checkpoint I restarted at was only moments away, it’s quite frustrating when the player must replay an event because of a programming error and not a personal one.

But perhaps the largest folly is in the narrative itself which is without punch, fervor or appeal. Our protagonist, Joe Capelli, reminds me of many similar gruff detectives from any cop drama as he exhibits little personality to connect to. Since helping Hale to an untimely grave at the end of R2, Capelli lives in an underground shelter with his wife and child, simply trying to keep them alive. Shortly after Malikov arrives—a veteren scientist in the Resistance storyline—so too do the Chimera and Capelli is forced to leave his family and escort Malikov to New York City. Capelli hardly interacts with his wife or son which lends to the difficulty of crafting emotional appeal for their survival or Joe’s ultimate goal. What little dialogue that is shared between them is fairly hackneyed and unbelievable, turning what should be a tearful goodbye into a sigh-inducing waste of time.

Single tear? No?

It is of interesting note, however, that many of the journals and excerpts that can be found throughout the levels are actually more meaningful than Capelli or the various people he meets along the way. These journals include everything from notices and Chimera infection procedures to final letters of goodbye to friends and family. There is one particular journal depicting a letter written in crayon to Santa Claus, asking for the war to stop. In that moment, I felt my heartstrings strain more than the rest of the game put together. Other journals are also rife with emotion and chronicle several people’s last stand as they fight off desperation yet recognize the inevitable. Perhaps these peripheral aspects of the game were under the direction of a different department at Insomniac, but the disparity of quality between the minutia and the grand story is enough to suspect they were not written by the same people.

Another significant change was the revamped multiplayer portion. Unlike its competitors at the time, R2 made teamwork a much bigger aspect of playing online as players could select one of three different classes to help their teammates survive. It was unique enough to provide a fresh spin on multiplayer, yet still familiar enough for players to know what their role was against the enemy. Unfortunately, R3 discards all of this for a generic, not-my-first-rodeo system that borrows just about every detail from other FPS success stories. Kill streak bonuses occur at three, six, and nine kills and cannot be customized at all; higher levels lead to more active and passive abilities to choose from, though the majority are all very similar to the perks granted in the Modern Warfare games; even the modes that are supposed to be unique to the Resistance franchise bear heavy resemblance to modes from other games like Halo, M.A.G. or Battlefield.

Ultimately, Resistance 3 is a title hindered by failed potential: The potential to have a great plot in a unique universe fleshed out by two previous entries; the potential to craft compelling characters struggling with what last shreds of humanity are left on the planet; and the potential to master the qualities done well by its older brethren and become a happy marriage of finely-tuned pacing with personal combat customization and intensity. Sadly, each of these fall short of the high expectations set before them, leaving Resistance 3 as the weakest entry in the series. Whether Insomniac chooses to continue with the series or pass it along to another studio, another sequel will not be without challenge and skepticism.

See you in the next level,
Gray

Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Trailer!

2011-09-22T17:16:00.001-05:00

A new, nearly 4 minute trailer for Girl With the Dragon Tattoo has been making the rounds. I must say having not read the series I have been very impressed with everything I have seen and heard about this film. I am a huge David Fincher (the director) fan, so I was probably going to see it on his attachment alone - oh and Daniel Craig's haunting blue eyes don't hurt either.

Why do kittens sometimes die?

Definitely going to pick up the books this winter when I am out of school to catch up on the phenomenon, even though the film versions look to be doing it justice.

Vegas, Baby

2011-09-19T15:31:00.002-05:00

On bachelor parties and the hookerpocolyse

I'm plodding down the street toward the home-base of the Cosmopolitan, eyes half-blinded by the stark brightness that was the casino floor of Treasure Island. My temples pulse as my brain cramps off the urge to fight sleep thanks to an espresso assist. The sun peeks over the La Madre Range, turning the Las Vegas basin a grey-blue.

Things come into focus.

Hookers waddle down the street, many arms around shoulders to support each other - blending together in what can only be described as a "Hooker Chain of Support." A man yells and pushes one, sending the hooker chain reeling like a cracked whip. I looked closer.

I knew his face:

Fuck, that thing is going to steal my soul. He looks like that villain from Indian Jones: The Last Crusade after he chose "poorly." I duck into a local Hofrbau to avoid drawing the attention of his wild eyes.

A man approaches me, grinning like the Cheshire cat:

I'm hit across the back of my skull. The last thing I remember thinking was the last piece advice I had received before setting foot in this God-forsaken city:

"You never want to see a Vegas morning."

____________________

OK, so that was clearly a fabricated short story based on a very hungover two-block walk of shame I made at 4:30AM to make a 7:10AM flight Sunday morning. The point I should drive home though is that in Las Vegas, that scenario is not at all out of the realm of possibility. The loss of my Vegas virginity only crystallized in my mind as I walked between neon skyscrapers on "the Strip," doing my best Heisman pose to duck the continual advancements of prostitutes.

The oldest profession is very much alive and...humming. During the blur of the nights, its right there under the surface, smacking you in the face if you just look . It is simultaneously hilarious and sad - it is sadlarious the way in which these girls smile and preen for douchbags who think their special because of it. The eventual transaction at the spank bank is as emoationally vacant and as fake as they come, because like Las Vegas itself, it is a mirage.

And so the reality of Vegas smacked me in the face at 4:30AM as I saw these girls stagger down the strip in droves like a cumdumpster zombie army. The ride was over, except upon exiting this ride I had no money, a massive hangover, and was stuck dodging the personifications of herpes.

See: Herpe Harpy

And I would be a part of the ride in a heartbeat all over again.

The Ride in Pictures - Austin's Bachelor Party

Often you get pulled into things you might not have been ready for. Luckily, I was around pros who would navigate me through the fluorescent labyrinth of the Las Vegas strip.

Checking in to the Cosmopolitan was like stepping into a Middle-Eastern techno fever dream.

This will be easy to navigate in a "brownout"

58th floor does have it's advantages though.

First meal: Hoffbrau. The combination of high-gravity brews that smoothly washes the meat down but knocks you on your ass, as well as the entertainment that comes from purchasing a Jager shot and a paddling from a lady that clearly hates herself made for a fantastic meal.

The beer was so strong that it made you schizophrenically hallucinate competing with your mirror image in manly ways

The jager and paddling began in earnest. Most were not eager to receive their medicine.

Some were a little too eager:

The groom shows how well-trained he already is.

We made our way to the strip, fighting to stay cognizent enough to gamble effectively.

After a good bit of Casino hopping it was time to go home...I think. I am not really sure, this next image I pulled from my phone seems to indicate there is a substantial amount of badass times that I am missing.

Is this real life?

Really, nothing can prepare you for a first time in Las Vegas. Enjoy the ride, boot and rally, and try not to be awake or aware at 4:30AM - some realities should best stay hidden below the surface.

Use Vegas or it will use you. Bachelorparty.

Modern Warfare 3 Multiplayer Trailer and Perks!

2011-09-08T23:26:00.000-05:00

H8ters gonna hate! But srsly, sniper secondary?

I think I need to preface this by saying that Black Ops was my first entry into the CoD franchise; with that said, it is obvious to every hardcore CoD fan that I am a relative n00b, 'cus Modern Warfare 2 is widely regarded as the pinnacle of the franchise. So after a jaunt into the cold war (for whatever fucking reason), Modern Warfare is back.

I'll have to be honest, Black Ops only served the purpose to get together with my work buds online - if they hadn't gotten me into it I would have spent my FPS time with Team Fortress 2 (which I have returned to now that they have all quit playing).

In this trailer for the multiplayer (which is I'll I really give a damn about), some things are particularly striking:

Our hero in the trailer is rather...slow on the uptake.
Dude's secondary is a mo'fucking sniper rifle (ya, that'll be OP).

For those interested, a full list of the new perks and strike packages are below the trailer!*

Tier 1
Perk	Effect	Pro Effect
Sleight of Hand	Fast Reloading	Fast Weapons Change
Recon	Explosive damage shows target on Mini-Map	Bullet damage shows target on Mini-Map
Blind Eye	Air Support and Sentries are undetectable	Fast lock-on for rockets. Increased bullet damage to vehicles
Extreme Conditioning	Increased sprint time	Climbing speed increased
Scavenger	Get ammo from dead enemies	Get more ammo

Tier 2
Perk	Effect	Pro Effect
Quickdraw	Faster Aiming	Faster recovery from using grenade/equipment
Blast Shield/td>	Increased explosive resistance	Resistance to flashbangs and stuns
Hardline	Killstreaks require 1 fewer kill	Two assists count as kill towards killstreaks. Deathstreaks require 1 fewer death.
Assassin	Immuntity to UAV, portable radar, thermal, and heartbeat	Immunity to CUAV and EMP, no red crosshair or name over you
Overkill	Carry two primary weapons	Second primary can have two attachments

Tier 3
Perk	Effect	Pro Effect
Marksman	Identify targets at more distant range	Hold your breath for longer when sniping
Stalker	Increased movement speed while aiming down the sites	Add delay to enemy claymores before exploding
SitRep	Detect Enemy Explosive and Tac Insert	Opposing team’s footsteps make more noise
Steady Aim	Increased accuracy while firing from hip	Weapon ready more quickly after sprint
Dead Silence	Quieter movement, recon does not work as well against you	Do not take any fall damage

Assault Tier Strike Packages
Kills	Reward
4	Care Package
5	Landmines that can be placed and are impervious to stuns/flashes
5	Predator Missile
5	Sentry Gun
6	Precision Airstrike
7	Attack Chopper
7	LBF – Mini Chooppers that patrol the map
9	LBG – Big Chopper that follows you around and protects you
9	Mortar Team that launches 5 Predator Missiles simultaneously
10	Talcon – Mini Tank Robot
12	AC130
12	Pavelow Chopper
15	Juggernaught Suit
15	Osprey Gunner Ops – Chopper Gunner + Emergency Air Drop

Support Tier Strike Packages
Kills	Reward
4	UAV
5	Counter UAV
5	Ballistic Duffel – Juggernaught Perk (not suit) for whole team
5	Airdrop Trap – Fake airdrop package
8	Anti-Air Turret
10	Remote UAV
12	Advanced Blackbird UAV
12	Remote Turret – Sentry that you control
12	Stealth Bomber
18	EMP
18	Juggernaught Recon Armor
18	Escort Air Drop

Specialist Tier Strike Packages
Kills	Reward
2	Choose 1 extra perk
4	Choose 2 extra perks
6	Choose 3 extra perks

Deathstreaks
Deaths	Reward
4	Juiced (Lightweight)
4	Martyrdom
4	Final Stand
5	Revenge (person that killed you shows up on radar)
5	Stopping Power (until your next kill)
6	Dead Mans Hand (you have c4 to suicde bomb with)

*Courtesy of MW3Perks

Fantasy Football 2K11

2011-09-06T22:46:00.006-05:00

Breakdown of my 2K11 Fantasy Draft, and the 5 Stages of Fantasy Grief

As opening weekend looms large, several of you have, or are about to draft your fantasy team(s) for this season. My group of work buddies had our draft about two weeks ago, which in some cases can lead to some anxiety as the season approaches; player health and contract disputes can have you neurotically checking to see if there are any positive trade winds.

For example, last year I drafted (in the 7th of 8 positions) as my first WR in the third round, Sidney Rice. Five days later, the asshole comes out and says he needs hip surgery.

FML. The 5 stages of "Draft Grief" took hold:

Use cheat-codes Sidney Rice!

Denial and Isolation: "Nah, it's just a strain. Rumor has it that he'll be game ready. No seriously, I don't need any help.
Anger: "Really, Sidney Rice? Those fucking Murderball crips are game ready, and they don't need legs!"
Bargaining: "I will trade you...Peyton Manning....for Keyshawn Johnson?"
Depression: "This was going to be my year. I have no other masculine pastimes - I can't fail at this!"
Acceptance: "Oh, Michael Crabtree is still out there. Neat."

Hell, it wasn't even a good year for Peyton Manning, my QB; all of his damn receivers were knocked back to the future with concussions or injuries. I got first runner-up in the losers bracket though - holla at ya boi!

You and your neck won't fool me a second time, Gypsy!

A new batch of contenders were assembled - let us gaze upon these mighty digital warriors of the "15 Balls Deep" league.

Fun Fact #1: 15BallsDeep is a reference to the fact that between 8 of us, there are only 15 testicles. Cancer, you need to go die in a fire. Can you figure out which contestant has one nut?

Fun Fact #2: I forced romolover6969 to take that name after making him my Texas Hold 'Em whipping boy. Obviously, he is a Steeler's fan. Black and Yell0wnd!

This year would be different. Premonitions of greatness swirled through my head as I decided upon two very distinct strategies depending on what part of the draft order I got. If I got to pick in the 1-4 range, I was going to stick with the pack's trending (which is usually gobbling up all the RBs); yet, if I was in the latter half, I was going to consciously buck the trend and move down from there, hopefully resulting in having the best of the rest.

My pick order this year: 6 of 8

My Resulting Offense:

How about the D?

Analysis:

Not too shabby if I say so myself. I was able to buck the first round RB trend when it hit me at #6, selecting a QB in Vick that will get both the RB and QB bonuses; yes, it is a gamble considering the way Philly's starting O-line performed in preseason, which seemed to portend Vick's rag-doll demise (not shown: I have Romo as my backup. Hmm, I guess I am the romolover6969). If I can't package him for some depth or upgrades in other areas, at least I think I can be assured 3-4 wins with Vick alone and that starting cast.

Ultimately, I came away with just a weak TE, and not much depth at RB past Chris Johnson (thank you baby Jesus for that contract). I do have Beanie Wells on the bench, who has been getting some hype as of late, so maybe I am sitting on a diamond in the rough.

The last thing you see before you die.

As I have come to find out, though, even the best plans and drafts can be swiftly undone by the cruel hands of the injury gods and/or strip club shootings. In an 8 man league, most starting lineups can and should be pretty decent, so it really can come down to whose hot on what day. I'll do some updates with results and team breakdowns week to week if I don't get too bogged down by gradschool.

What about you guys? How did your fantasy teams pan out?

Jody's Mustache - out !

A Grad School Perspective

2011-09-02T15:45:00.014-05:00

A short list of observations from Grad School

Stepping back onto a campus and in the class room wasn't exactly as daunting as I thought it would be. Having worked in the "real world" for four years, I came back to school with some perspective and drive that I didn't have before.

I am not saying the traditional four year BA that I did before was useless; it provided me with some pretty important life experiences that shaped who I was as a person. Yep, mom and dad, that private institution you sent me to provided me with a similar growth arc to that of an obese person going through fat camp. Sorry 'bout that!

Professionally, though - eh, let's just say a BA in History with a minor in Anthro doesn't get you very far unless you're willing to wash the dirty unmentionables of an archaeologist with an Indiana Jones complex in Beliz for a semester.

So, once I figured out that I wanted to be a college professor that could do whatever the fuck I wanted as well, I set out this week to blaze a trail toward a thesis and a Masters (maybe eventually a PhD?). Upon arriving on campus though, I already started to get a sense that I was outside the "bubble" of the traditional college experience. Several things had just...changed since I last set foot as a student. Maybe changed is the wrong word - I think perhaps I have just acquired a more adult perspective on campus life.

(1) Undergraduates are Fucking Morons

Ok, this one seems pretty self-evident, but you really don't get a sense of how much of a dumbass you must have been until you go back and are forced into co-existence with these mouth breathers. Simple questions like, "where can I find the registrar?" are met with blank stares; one asshole actually sent me to the student-ID center. Undergraduates, especially freshman, are in this state of being where it's just deer-in-headlights survival mode 24/7, with critical thinking taking a back seat to more basic urges like, "can I fuck that tree?"

Looks clean to me

(2) You Can Hold Meaningful Conversations With Women!

Being the distinguished 26 year old married graduate student, I am about as safe as they come. Shit, after the first week back in college, women talk to me like a surrogate father (BTW, I don't know what a sanitary napkin is, much less have one on me. Stop crying and leave me alone.) I guess I never noticed between the boners in college, but young ladies on campus often treat encounters with manchildren as necessary evils. You can walk by about thirty of these meetings on the way to and from your car, and usually it revolves around the girl pretending to be on the phone or receiving a call while the awkward male asks her meaningful questions like:

"Where are you going?"

"Are you going the ______ (insert frat) party?"

"Where are you going?"

Though I could wax lyrical about how sad the state of the young male's social lexicon is, what is even sadder is the noticeable look on the girls face. You can clearly see through her forced smile that there is a little voice on her shoulder that pops up when every awkward male undergraduate approaches her:

So you can imagine their reaction when I state my thesis and life goals while brandishing my wedding ring.

Ladies, my eyes are up here...

(3) Is That Vomit, or Urine?

No really, someone shit on or around the campus. Who knows if this will get better after the first week, but literally everywhere smells like a moldy cheese room swathed in asparagus pee and hint of Jack Daniels.

Fuck it, I am sure it's Ke$ha's fault.

(4) I'm Not Texting, I'm Writing Notes on my iPhone!

This one is actually pretty funny, as I have seen three people wipe the fuck out, and one walk into a poll because they were too busy walking to class and messing with their smartphone. Smartphones these days kind of fill the niche that those helmet-sized shades that the ladies from my original college go-around used to wear to appear unapproachable or to hide the lazy eye they got at that frat party; basically, it's now used as a universal indicator that you are too busy/cool to messed with.

Hold on one second, I didn't know you could get points on foursquare for checking into the campus library!

(5) I Get it, You're Different

I really started to feel old when undergraduates and their sense of fashion started to bug me. I mean I understand that for some individuals, asserting one's uniqueness via fashion is easier than meeting other people; in the animal kingdom, often the flashiest of the species gets to mate. But seriously, if you are going to walk around with thirty piercings, a hole in your nose, and tribal tats that seem to spell out the word "extreme," I probably won't be alone in judging the hell out of you.

Fucking hipsters...

Really though, good luck. For your efforts to avoid social interaction - yet stand out in a crowd - you have been preselected for the following career field:

(A) Indie Roady
(B) Bartender
(C) Alternative Barrista

I like my mocha frothy , bitch.

Gray On "Euclideon"

2011-08-30T11:13:00.000-05:00

Now that we’ve hit late August, most video game companies with triple-A titles debuting in just a few short months are starting to crank up their marketing campaign to eleven, most notably EA and Activision. Both companies will soon have a slew of commercials out there touting “real footage” of in-game scenarios so as to claim they have the top-tier graphics found nowhere else. Each time one of these “grudge” matches pops up, I keep wondering if this fight is even worth having. Honestly, take a look at an in-game picture of the upcoming Battlefield 3:

Now, compare it to a picture from its main competitor, Modern Warfare 3:

See this difference? If you can, you’re most likely lying. While I’m sure each game will have advantages over the other (MW3 will run at a solid 60fps, according to Activision), the particle effects, polygon counts, draw distance, and overall presentation are going to be so close to identical. Most of the gaming community won’t even notice or care all that much (the bottom line will always be game play, not graphics). It seems that, for the most part, video game graphics have approached a type of plateau. We might be able to squeeze a few more particles here and there every year, or increase the polygon cap by a few dozen, but other than that it’s about as good as it gets, right?

Enter Euclideon.

I found this video courtesy of Break.com, but it can also be found on their website along with several pictures and commentaries. According to the narrator (who is also the CEO), their company has been working on a new technology for several years that, if it works the way he claims, will truly be the next big step for video game graphics.

Now, the video is several minutes long and loosely describes the concept, so here’s my probably awful attempt at explaining it like he does: Instead of building an environment out of thousands of polygons and shaders, everything it built out of tiny bits of data they call “atoms.” By using these much smaller bits, each object comes out with a much higher level of detail, allowing the player to really get a sense of the object’s size and depth. Not stopping there, apparently even the dirt on the ground is made up of atoms. Instead of a virtual bottom glossed over with a wallpaper-looking ground, plants are trampled when walked over, dirt is shuffled into the air with each step, and much more. I did notice, however, that they neglect to mention the amount of computing power a technology like this would eat up. I’m no computer scientist, but managing bits of data at such a huge level each millisecond must amount to incredible levels of strain on a person’s processor and RAM. Hopefully, with another year’s worth of work, Euclideon will have something mighty impressive to start showing off, and I’d love to see what companies like Ubisoft, Suckerpunch or Valve could do with this level of detail. Only time will tell.

See you in the next level,

Gray

Old Republic - Eternity Vault Preview

2011-08-27T12:00:00.000-05:00

Bioware introduces us to their brand of story driven raids!

I never got far enough in my Beta cycle to raid, and I am glad I didn't. I played what I needed to play and decided that I am getting the The Old Republic , and would now rather play a complete experience.

Simply, it's the next evolutionary step in the MMO process. WoW gave the world a gameplay framework, and now ToR is introducing a more cohesive and richly active story component. I mean, if this Eternity Vault is truly the first raid in the game (uh remember Molten Core?), one can only imagine what they'll attempt to top themselves.

Gray Reviews "From Dust"

2011-08-26T13:20:00.000-05:00

After a short, yet relaxing vacation in the far off land of Houston, I finally managed to borrow a friend’s 360 long enough to play through a new XBLA title I’ve been hearing more and more about. From Dust, an independent endeavor by one of Ubisoft’s smaller studios, is one of those fairly uncommon ‘God’ games. If one remembers the Black & White franchise from years ago, From Dust is a definite cousin to its style, but still remains original in terms of visuals, landscape, and game play.

Unlike other God games, which give you direct control over pretty much anything in front of you, From Dust settles more on the idea of indirect power; rather than controlling the tribespeople that populate the game, you can only control the actual landscape around them. You can pick up earth from one location and place it somewhere else, or move water away from their village to guard it from tsunamis. Lava is your friend and enemy, as it can devastate your entire tribe in moments or be used to create more land to reach the next totem. At its heart, From Dust is a puzzle game, challenging you to protect the tribe as it moves from place to place without granting you the ability to directly control their movements. That’s what makes it both addicting and frustrating.

The landscape is the main character in From Dust. While you partake in most of the land’s bigger changes, the entire world is dynamic and vibrant all on its own. Oceans can be both gentle and menacing (tsunamis, remember?), volcanoes will sporadically erupt without warning, and your abilities are all that stands between your people and their quick demise. Don’t go into this game thinking a perfect game is achievable: Your people will die, and die often. This isn’t to say your omnipotence isn’t as good as it should be; quite the opposite, it’s one of FD‘s more existential moments when you start to learn that no matter how perfect you are, the world is not. Nature is unpredictable, and that’s where things can get annoying.

Toward the game’s latter half, the difficulty of each level is noticeably higher, as more nuanced godly powers come to your disposal. Since you don’t have control over the tribe, their movements can sometimes be erratic and a little sluggish when it comes time to move to the new location. Moreover, the last few levels have multiple solutions, all of which will require a bit of luck, ultimately. But these are small gripes about an otherwise beautiful and engaging struggle between you and the elements. Without a doubt, my lasting impression after finishing From Dust was one not of disappointment at its brevity, but over the feeling that I could have done it better. Perhaps I could have saved more lives or done it in less time, but when your enemy is Mother Nature itself, I suppose I should just be happy I saved some of them at all.

See you in the next level,

Gray

Terminal Review - "50/50" is Cancerifically Good

2011-08-25T11:40:00.000-05:00

Humor that metastasizes!

I can guarantee you that "cancer comedy" as a descriptive term is rarely used in cinema these days. From a studio marketer's perspective: what's the point of even attempting one when you could churn out another half-baked sequel to a known property? It's like "cancer" has become this monster that looms in the human psyche enough to make even broaching the subject the kiss of death.

As one of the leading causes of mortality in the U.S., it would be virtually impossible for someone to not be affected by some form of cancer. You can't just do a movie on "cancer," because everyone has had a cancer experience sometime in their life; what that means is that if you are going to do it, you better do it right because audiences will see past the bullshit.

"Doing it right" is precisely why 50/50 works, because it's straight from the pen of the young screenwriter and cancer survivor, Will Resier. It's his story.

I attended the promo-screening for 50/50 at Alamo South last night, and the guest speaker was the man himself, Resier. What struck me about him is not only how brilliant the dude is for synthesizing his experiences as a cancer patient and survivor into 50/50 , but just how fucking young he is.

Really, his youth is the reason that everyone should see this movie. He talked a lot about being a young cancer patient in a ward where he was the only one of his generation - where everyone else was at least 60+ years old. Yet, even being so generationally isolated, his bridges the gap with some old dudes as they all scarf down weed cookies and smoke the medicinal spliff. This movie is important because it can be that film that could not only introduce younger people to consequences of the disease, but also to a state of universal empathy that's really eye-opening. Parents and kids should see this together, because there are those poignant moments that really capture how those walls between generations are built and then broken down.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Resier's alter-ego, Adam. After watching the movie and then seeing Resier in-person, it was eery how well Gordon captured Adam and his affect. The character arc for Adam in the film is powerful because he is like a volcano, trying to remain stoic and steadfast for other people while all his fears and anxieties about the disease churn under the surface.

As much as the film is about Adam and his personal struggle, it's also as much about those other people in Adam's life and how they react to the disease: be it his significant other Rachel, played by Bryce Dallas-Howard, his mother played by Anjelica Houston, or his best friend Kyle played by Seth Rogen. They way they "handle" Adam and his disease is often touching and heartbreaking all at the same time.

Oh, and fucking hilarious.

It might be a little far into a review to point out that this movie is actually a comedy. How could it not be with Seth Rogen as the best friend? Yet, Seth Rogen is Will Resier's best friend, and the producer of the movie that wanted Will to write this story and get it out there. As a result, this is probably the best thing Rogen has ever done, comedy or otherwise, as he basically is playing himself true to life and how he dealt with his friend's prognosis.

The comedy in this film is really what amplifies the emotional beats, as every laugh is painted in sharp relief with the notion that Adam might not make it. Cancer is not joke, but Rogen as Kyle tries to keep a smile on his friend's face, and the way the film blends the laughs with the cries makes it transcendent.

Look for it when it comes out September 30th.

*****

Ghost Rider 2 Trailer Drains the Lizard!

2011-08-24T13:41:00.001-05:00

Is there hope on the horizon after a terrible first outing?

To say I was "surprised" by the news that Ghost Rider (2007) had earned a sequel, again staring Nic Cage, would be an understatement. The first Ghost Rider is so bad that it will most likely one day earn a spot next to Battlefield: Earth as one of those movies frats play a drinking game to. The rules would be something like:

Drink every time Nic Cage says something unintentionally funny
Drink every time Nic Cage smiles awkwardly
Finish your beer every time Nic Cage is, thankfully, is not on screen.

I guess whoever is in charge of this property agrees with me that indeed, they have found their cinematic niche "with the bros." In said studio exec's infinite wisdom, they brought in a couple of "bro" directors: Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor - best known for the ludicrousity that is the Jason Statham "Crank" franchise.

You know what, their involvement may be the best thing to happen to this franchise. Their schizoid cinematogrpahy and devotion to crazy amounts of action might actually salvage some cred for this Marvel character. It appears, at this point, that their only obstacle will be mitigating Cage's screen time and line delivery (like the "you should be" in this trailer).

Meh, let's face it: Cage's mere presence alone will probably have audiences assuming this is a straight to DVD affair.

Portal Short Film is Pretty Rad

2011-08-24T13:14:00.000-05:00

One director goes above and beyond in this live-action short!

Even if you aren't a fan of the game or are not even remotely aware of it, this short film directed by Dan Trachtenberg captures the essence of Valve's Portal series. It's not easy translating something like Portal into a medium for the masses, but I am quite impressed by what this director was able to pull off with so little.

Here's hoping Valve gives the kid a crack at a series for them. Let's hope it won't go the way of Mortal Kombat when he gets a real budget.

My First TF2 Replay!

2011-08-23T10:53:00.005-05:00

Things get a little stabby...

I recently came back to Team Fortress 2 after a summer-long hiatus playing other things; I guess that's the point with this game and I - I always come back. Other than the Scout, I am pretty decent with every class.

Undoubtedly, my BEST class is the spy. Since the beginning, I have always loved the spy's mechanics; more specifically, I love destroying people's worlds and listening to Engineers rage over the microphone that "we need more @$!@$ pyros."

To me, the best thing that happened to the spy has been the dead ringer pocket invisibility watch. Coupled with the Saharan gear loadout which guarantees silence upon decloak, and the possibilities for decimating a team that is not completely entrenched are endless. Even still, all it takes is getting that first disguise, and not even engineers can hear you coming.

This is my first "saved" game and upload to youtube via TF2's new replay system. It's not the best quality, but I am anticipating trumping this little spree in no time.

Also: if it's stuttering - check it here on Youtube

"Iron" Video is Battle-Ready

2011-08-22T22:10:00.002-05:00

Break-out Videogame Music Video?

Honestly, I searched up the video because I had sworn it was written specifically for the Assassin's Creed: Revelations trailer. "Iron" by Woodkid is mesmerizing, and is going to be the themesong for my return to school. Time to battle on for a Master's.

YTMND Weekly #15: Bachmann's Power

2011-08-22T13:49:00.002-05:00

It's been awhile since the last weekly - yet, it has taken longer than usual to amass a quality amount of YTMNDS these last few months.

Note: most of these are NSFW (language).

Particularly brilliant matchup of horror and Connery: Connery Gets Told
Being a Captain with a green thumb, sometimes the line must be drawn here on weeds: Picard tries to save his lilles
Since any rational person would think she is batshit insane, she must have some hypnotic power of the white trash: Hypnobachmann
Everyone knows stunts in movies can go horribly awry: Senseless tragedy
Going postal has never seemed so musical: Meet Dan

iPad 3 coming in early 2012?

2011-08-19T12:06:00.001-05:00

Wall street journal recently reported:

"A source at an iPad supplier reportedly told the Wall Street Journal that "suppliers will ramp up production and try to improve the yield rate for the new iPad in the fourth quarter before its official launch in early 2012."

Market strategy wise, this is very curious for Apple who has dominated the recent holiday seasons with its new tech. My guess is that they are going to rest on their laurels with the iPhone 5, and then try and release the iPad 3 in retaliation to Nintendo's impending Wii U launch during that same "early 2012" season. There are rumors that the iPad 3 will support 2048x1536 resolution, but other than that there has not been much speculation on design or increased functionality.

Oh, well at least it won't leak anymore.

Nintendo recently gave Apple a shot across their bow with their unveiling of the Wii U at E3, with it's iPad-like controller that was apple to stream PS3 quality or greater games 1:1. Many of the twitter feeds at the time were buzzing with tags like "iPad killer;" what was interesting, though, is that the official Apple twitter engaged and often directly responded to these claims, with many @ messages pointedly telling customers to "see what they have got in store" for the likes of Nintendo.

As for Nintendo, their new system and American market strategy is brilliant. No longer are they engaging with their direct competition in Microsoft or Sony, but aiming higher at they king of American tech, Apple. Ultimately, this kind of arms race can only lead to more "win" for gamers everywhere.

AC Revelations Trailer is Dubsteperrific

2011-08-18T12:05:00.000-05:00

Apparently someone thought it would be funny to hook Desmond up to the animus and throw some brown-noise dubstep in his iPod while he is trying to relive past lives. Soundtrack aside, it's cool to see several generations of Assassins get all stabby.

Terminal Review -" Attack the Block" = New "Ghostbusters"?

2011-08-17T12:16:00.003-05:00

Sho 'Nuf Bruv

Where do you even begin trying to describe a movie like this? Watching Attack the Block (which is still in limited release unfortunately) is like watching a mashup of some of my all-time favorite movies, packaged in a modern tale about south-London street urchins surviving a very local alien invasion. Yet, it still retains the charm, vulnerability, and unpredicatbility that director Joe Cornish has come to perfect in his other films like Sean of the Dead , Hot Fuzz , and Scott Pilgrim .

The movie starts off like an homage to Akira, as 5 local teens who live on "the block" patrol the streets on their bikes looking to for an easy mugging. As if the Akira-ness wasn't enough, even one of the kids rolls around with a samurai sword, a red scooter, and helmet:

The music beats are slick and urban, and there is this sense of danger to these kids, that they are wild and unpredictable. It also comes off as very poignant, being that the film is English and there is so much in the news these days about racial tension in that area. Yes, 4 out of the 5 kids are Black, as they probably would be demographically in that area of town. Though we come to find out that it is really only the ring leader, Moses, who has any real edge to him and that the other kids just do it for a cheap thrills, it's an important starting point for the audience to get a glimpse into that cultural slice.

The topic of race in this film can heavy handed at times, but the way the story unravels and as we learn about these kids, our preconceptions are pushed to the side as it should be. It's never explicitly stated that it's a black and white thing, but the film often goes out the tell the audience that once the aliens hit, it's an us (human) struggle.

It's also an allegory!

As the aliens come crashing like shooting stars to earth, however, the film tonally shifts to a mixture between Sean of the Dead and Ghostbusters (which is referenced as well). The biker gang encounters a weaker alien which shows up first, hunting it down and slaying it for sport; yet, once the bigger and meaner back-up crash lands, all bets are off. There is a raw sense of unpredictable danger, as people (and kids) are visciously killed by what seems like gorillas that are blacker "than me cuz," and come equipped with wicked bio-luminescent mouths full of rows of razor sharp teeth. The way they are shot at times make them my favorite monsters that I have seen in a long while.

Credit again goes to Joe Cornish for keeping the stakes high and the fear strong, yet there is enough humor injected to keep the movie flying by. Once the final act in the main tenant building of the "the block" comes, the comparisons to Ghostbusters really get obvious, but in a refreshing way (the final showdown is pretty reminiscent of a famous Marshmallow man final battle). Hell, I have craved a "new wave" Ghostbusters for years - little did I know it would come in a cool 90 minute package from across the pond. If you are in Austin and love the Drafthouse, don't miss it!

****1/2

Street Fighter X Tekken Battle System Trailer

2011-08-17T10:56:00.001-05:00

This new wave of fighting games is going to be the death of me...

I guess the "second golden age" of fighting games has finally cemented itself. I definitely just need to man up and buy an arcade fight stick so I can even stay competitive on the online scene, because modern day controllers can do a number on hands trying to pull off combos on the fly, be it Mortal Kombat , Marvel Vs. Capcom , or Street Fighter 4 .

Really, I just want to have a Holiday Inn Ballroom amount of people chant my name after I pull something like this off:

Nah, my wife would probably kill me. It sucks though, because almost every weekend I would go to the arcade as a kid, and the only games that really saw my quarters were Killer Instinct, Street Fighter 2 Turbo, and Mortal Kombat. Oh to be young again.

Immortals Looking Slick(ier?)

2011-08-16T23:45:00.001-05:00

Micky Rourke Needs Some Selson Blue...
I had my doubts about this film at first; I wasn't sold that it should be seem so 300-esque (see the first trailer here). This latest trailer, though, really has won me over. It's like a real-life God of War.

As much as I wanted to decry Immortals for a little too much stylistic mimicry, the part of the brain that craves awesome looking violence has efficiently shut down those altruistic thoughts in the cellar of my brain where feelings go, and will remained locked away never to be spoken of until they again flood to the surface due to an eventual mid-life crises where I convince myself that I am an artist and I buy an Audi to compensate for a negative libido and loss of man-card.

Ahem. Until then: mythological Greek violence plz!

<a href='http://movies.msn.com/movies/movie-trailers/#/video/fba6e5d7-fd0d-43b5-b51c-18d8f51cab37' target='_new' title=''Immortals' Trailer' >Video: 'Immortals' Trailer</a>

DoTA 2 Trailer Puts Pretenders on Notice

2011-08-15T23:16:00.002-05:00

Fare thee well, Heroes of Newerth and League of Legends

I am, how do you say, a fairweather fan of the budding RTS/RPG/Team genre that was born from original Defense of the Ancients (DoTA) mod for Warcraft III. In a sense, that original mod created this whole "Real-Time Hero Strategy" (RHS) that has ascended to stardom thanks to the free to play copy-cats, League of Legends and Heroes of Newerth, who then basically repackaged the mod and added a few respective "tweaks" of there own.

"Tweaks"

They are incredibly addictive and easy to play, but the subtle nuances and strategy that separate the noobs from the elite take a good while to master. Therein was the problem for me while I was playing Heroes of Newerth: taking a while to master became more a matter of managing my levels of rage - and there are several key factors within the mechanics of these games that can turn a visceral and fun experience into a "everyone needs to die in a fire" moment.

Different levels of griefing, team-stacking, and general douchebaggery would ensue more often than not - with most of the ire firmly directed at the noobs (like me) trying to learn. I would play with my friends and it would be awesome even when I was happily failing, but trying to get better during the off hours became increasingly frustrating; don't get me wrong, being called a "fag" and "fucking moron" in garbled Korean/English was always amusing, but being left out to dry by unhelpful teammates was a pretty big turn-off.

Because both LoL and HoN are free to play and created from start-up gaming companies, their customer service and ability to counter these issues at the core of the game and to promote a better community and team experience were and still are legendary in their amount of fail. Don't worry though peeps, because their answer is to just pump up the pro-gaming aspect and dangle gobs of money in front the masses to keep them slamming their heads into the keyboard. For more of the history of rage and hate in this world, there is no better place to look than my friends at MMOQQ.com

Ah, but finally the sequel to the originator Defense of the Ancients 2 is now on the horizon, and I can't be more excited. Backed by the geniuses at Valve who can do no wrong in my eyes (Half-life, Counter-Strike, Team Fortress) , you can bet that this will be a giant leap forward for the genre and the community that supports it.

I probably won't rage quit till a week after it comes out this time.

Man of Steel's Superman Has An Edge!

2011-08-05T13:46:00.002-05:00

Superman has been taking some lessons

Below are your first glimpses of Henry Cavill as both Clark Kent and Superman:

Being the Marvel fanboy that I am, I never really got totally into the Superman phenomenon; even at a young age it seemed a little silly to have a superhero so vastly overpowered, and he just seemed a little cheap.

This photo of Kent is - what - mid-transformation? I have always thought that Kent's identity was one of the silliest conceits in the comic world in that the audience has to continually accept that the rational humans who populate Metropolis and do not have cataracts cannot look at Clark Kent sans-glasses and realize, "Hey, that nerd is fucking Superman!" When the character was created in the early 20th century, he might have gotten away with it because it was just too socially impolite to speculate in that day an age. The Hardy Boys ended up dead because of that kind of snooping.

I like what Cavill is going for, though. He is walking with this sense of swagger that would take years to master:

Oh, wait...

The early Kent photo caused the masses to clamor for a true Superman pic, and I guess director and his Man of Steel team were eager to appease:

Wait, there is something...powerful about this picture. Let's get a closer look:

Oh God, the did it. Those sonofabitches actually pulled it off. They gave him the greatest, most respected head of hair an American icon can have.

They gave him the "Mel Kiper."

Authority. Willpower. Douche.

Thanks to JoBlo for the pics.

I'll be out of town for a week, so hopefully when I get back I'll have some time to write up reviews on Conan and Planet of the Apes.

Game of Thrones - The FX

2011-08-03T13:46:00.002-05:00

Something tells me George Lucas could use a lesson...

NOTE: SPOILER MATERIAL

It must be the doldrums of summer when I have to write about special effects work, but this bit done by the studio BlueBolt for the first season of Game of Thrones is pretty astonishing when you see what was actually practical and what was CG.

This was CG done right, and only served to heighten the magic and wonder of the first season. Why directors would choose to shoot against a complete green screen rather than real sets and locations is a mystery to me after seeing what actually can be done with very little. I guess these days you just have to chalk it up to being lazy.

Avengers Clip Gives First Glimpse!

2011-07-30T17:37:00.000-05:00

Short but Sweet?

Here is a clip that both manages to "ruin" Captain America and show you almost nothing but heroes posing in the Avengers . For those in "know," Steve Rogers journey to the future had to happen for the Avengers to even be possible, so it's not a huge deal (this clip doesn't show HOW it happens though).

Goes to show you how much the studio thought of these individual character films as mere gateways to the team up movie (considering this piece of marketing for that movie is tied to the back of Captain America).

Don't blink - you'll miss it!

Game of Thrones - Book 5 Review!

2011-07-26T20:00:00.004-05:00

"For the Watch..."

I finally finished the 5th book in A Song of Ice and Fire , and my first thought was, "Dammit, the last book took 5 fucking years to come out!." I mean that to be a positive reaction, as my craving for this story is firmly at war with the anxiety that the author's heart can explode at any minute.

The face he made suffering his third heart attack...

Seriously, I need George R. R. Martin to have a Stephen King crises of mortality and finish this damn thing (King famously wrote the final three books of The Dark Tower series back-to-back after doing his finest impression of a bug on a windshield). With that said, I can only imagine that the 5+ years A Dance With Dragons took to finish only helped make the final product a polished gem, and probably the best in the series behind the original Game of Thrones .

A Dance With Dragons is of one book and mind as its predecessor, A Feast For Crows , in that they are the center wheels in which the story turns toward reaching its climax. Chronologically, Dragons does not follow Crows , but rather runs concurrently (to a point) with its predecessor as each of the character chapters were written chronologically and were then split between the two books into following "regions."

OK, I had a love/hate relationship with A Feast For Crows - sure it had some great character moments with Jamie and Arya, but it just felt like too much time was spent on the peripheral iron islanders and Dorne, and there was not much development with the "main" characters. I understand though, that those characters and their machinations had to be introduced in order to drive the story of the main characters further, it just seemed like a really long winded way to get back to them. Perhaps that is why A Dance With Dragons was destined for acclaim, in that it is the almost half-decade long return to the main characters like Jon Snow, Daenerys, Tyrion, and Bran.

"Plots Within Plots"
Make no mistake though, this is not just a book devoted to a set number of established characters. As I should have already come to expect in this series, Martin throws in several game-changing surprises and character introductions that suddenly paints old events - and characters - in a different light. This book focuses primarily on the Wall, Slavers Bay, and the Free Cities, but there is quite a bit of time spent with a new character, "Reek," as well as some PoV chapters with probably my new favorite old knight, Ser Barristen Selmy.

Tyrion and Bran's journeys are tinged with a bit of sadness as the two physically challenged characters resign themselves to accept their existence within the world. Arya finally takes her first real steps to becoming a supreme badass (*cough*Assassin's Creed*cough*), and Cersei gets a much needed emotional beatdown.

Stick them with the pointy end

It's really hard to write a review when I am dying to actually talk about plot developments. I won't spoil anything, but there is the grand return of the, "I can't believe that fucking happened" chapter that will make you put the book down and do a little light drinking. Also, we finally hear some stories of the much fabled "Doom" that tore Valyria asunder, something that only had been vaguely hinted at before.

A Dance With Dragons is rich, complex (good luck telling apart Yukhaz zo Yukhaz from Hakhaz mo Fuckit), and unpredictable - exactly what we have come to expect from A Song of Ice and Fire . As much as I thought the story was becoming a little transparent, Martin ups his game to the point where I am just left yearning to know what happens next.

For some real spoiler talk - highlight the INVISOTEXT below:

Jon Snow gets fucking shanked by his own guys, bro - at least 4 times! Personally, clues to whether or not he dies I think rests in what happens when he pulls the first dagger out.

*****

Captain America Review!

2011-07-25T18:56:00.001-05:00

Best Marvel movie ever?

Though I saw Captain America on it's midnight release, I needed a full weekend to reflect on the last Marvel movie pre-Avengers. It's strange, but ever since Marvel Studios had attempted to build toward that gigantic superhero team movie that will probably shatter records next summer, the individual character movies have never really reached the quality of the first Iron Man .

How could this be, when seemingly that first film was of such a high quality?

In terms of creating a "Marvel Cinema Canon," the first Iron Man was completely unfettered by having to shoehorn in S.H.I.E.L.D. plot developments - developments that have completely sidetracked or at least detracted from the the plots of Thor and Iron Man 2 by forcing those films to to get to a narrative point where the "team-up" flick was even possible. The first Iron Man had no such ambitions as it was Marvel's one and only shot as a studio at the time, and the film allowed to grow and develop on its own rather than as a piece of a whole.

It was because of this trending in the Marvel Studios' universe that I was a little reticent about Captain America , especially after it was revealed that the film would take place almost entirely in the WWII-era (and not a modernization of the story like Iron Man) . How the hell were they going to get Steve Rogers to the future without S.H.I.E.L.D. meddling in another character story?

Thankfully, S.H.I.E.L.D. is relegated to the final scenes of the film (and yes, they still are the worst scenes), and as a result Captain America is the best self-contained character story since Iron Man . In a sense, the two films are the perfect book ends to the first wave of character movies, and might actually increase the quality of the other films when finally taken as a whole.

Steve Rogers (played note-perfect by Chris Evans) is not wise-cracking or as effortlessly "cool" as Tony Stark or Thor, but is the earnest and endearingly honor-bound hero that should be the leader of a ragtag group of superheroes. Before his transformation, all Rogers wants to do is to serve his country and "do his part," and when he finally gets the chance you can't help for cheer for him because he is such a likable guy. It's going to be pretty amazing to see the anachronistic Rogers swap Joss Whedon (the director of the Avengers - best known for Buffy and Firefly) written lines with Tony Stark, especially since Howard Stark plays such an important role in Captain America (and we all know how much Tony deals with his daddy issues).

Sure there are Nazi's with pewpew laser guns (and for that explanation, Thor is almost required viewing), but it feels like it fits naturally within the context of the Avengers universe. Hugo Weaving's "Red Skull" is probably the most perfect adaptation of a baddy in a Marvel movie so far, and the way Skull's relationship with Cpt. America develops from at first amusement, to a threat, to full on hatred is fun to watch. I hope he gets to pop up somewhere in Avengers (my guess is is bet on it).

My biggest caveat with the film is after Captain America's first real impromptu rescue mission and train takeover, almost the entire rest of the war is relegated to a montage in order to get to the final battle between Red Skull and Captain America. The film moves fast already, but this seemed like a warp speed jump. I know its for the sake of explaining how Steve Rogers gets to the future, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. That being said, if there were to be sequels that deal with Captain America in WWII, there are plenty of stories within that 2-3 year montage that can be told.

Captain America is fun movie - period. It's the type of film-making that toneally hearkens back to Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Rocketeer , not just because of the time period, but because of the sense of wonder and adventure. I highly recommend it, and next summer really can't come fast enough.

****

*For the rest of the character posters, click HERE

Spider-Man and Knights of Badassdom trailers!

2011-07-25T17:07:00.000-05:00

Two trailers for the price of one...

Pretty sure everyone has seen it already, but if not here is the embed:

This just seems so...awkward. This has to be the first time that a film franchise was rebooted within the same decade, especially after the previous incarnation's trilogy was insanely popular (even though the third is widely panned in geek circles).

The new trailer definitely didn't win me over either, as it seemingly (and foolishly from a marketing perspective) rehashes all the origin story plot points. The response to this trailer had been so bad that Sony clamoured to pull together some extra footage to show at Comicon 2K11, as well have Andrew Garfield (the new Peter Parker) appear in Spider-Man pajamas and tell the crowed how much the character meant to him growing up. It weird, but you would never think that a movie of this magnitude would have had something to prove going into Comicon, but that's exactly what Sony found themselves doing.

From all reports, they knocked the presentation out of the park (save for some questionable Lizard CGI and design, which apparently looks totally out of place with the rest of the film). As well-liked as the first two movies in Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy were, it seems like the biggest buzz is coming from Garfield's take on Spider-Man himself; listen, I was pretty apathetic toward Toby McGuire as the man in suit, but it seems as if Garfield's Spider-Man is the funny, wise-cracking crime-fighter that McGuire's wasn't. Hopefully, we'll get a better trailer sooner rather than later.

But, if there was ever a movie whose trailer won me over in the first 10 seconds, it's Knights of Badassdom. Think of it as Evil Dead meets your local neighborhood LARPers. Also, Peter Dinklage (AKA Tyrion Lannister) is in it.

Conan the Barbarian Clip Will Spill Some Blood

2011-07-20T16:55:00.002-05:00

Does it still look like a T.V. movie?

I do have mixed emotions about how this thing appears , but at least the studio is doing a lot to try to get some positive traction with the fans out there. The recent trailer that was released seemed to at least have the gotten the feel of the world right, but it still seemed like something was missing.

Other than Ron Perlman pretty much phoning his performance in, I like this clip even though the action seems a little outlandish. It kind of reminds me of those Child's Play movies at one point, but I can't complain with the buckets of blood.

Harry Potter 7.5 Review!

2011-07-18T19:45:00.006-05:00

It all ends...

What does Harry Potter mean to me? Clearly, he does not mean as much as the generation of kids right below me who made the final film the most biggest movie opening of all time. For them, I can see how this is one of those liminal "ascension to adulthood" moments where millions of young adults finally had to say goodbye to characters that they grew up with and loved.

Like the scar that ripples above his eye, Harry Potter was like catching lightning in a pop-culture bottle. If you break the franchise down logically, though, you begin to see the recipe for success that the author J.K. Rowling happened upon. The main character is a boy of marginal looks living in a crummy family life searching for an escape - how many millions of not just kids, but people can relate to that? Potter's ensuing quest was an escape into an almost dreamlike but believable near-reality for his character, and served as a literary escape for so many as well.

As a generation of readers grew older, so did the characters; with each passing book Rowling became a more proficient and compelling writer. Being 26, I came late to the series. Instead of Potter, I had Bilbo teaching me to read - yet I can understand how the Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings were never the cultural flashpoint that the Harry Potter series currently is. Those Middle Earth characters were not nearly as relatable as our Hogwarts friends were for entire generation of children. I would venture a guess that there will never be a series where the character arcs and the quality of the story and writing grow together in such a perfect way.

Now get a job, assholes!

In a sense, it was a shame that Harry's story ended when it did, because I truly believe that Rowling had finally hit her stride as an author at the climax of the story. Having said that, if the quality of writing and the complexity of the stories had been as such (you know 800 pages) from the beginning, the series would probably never have been as accessible to young readers. I don't know how conscious she was of it, but as J.K. Rowling grew as a writer alongside her characters, she created the perfect 2nd-9th grade reading list that will be used in schools (well, maybe not those redneck, God-fearing anti-Witchcraft schools) for decades to come to teach kids to read.

Only Satan could make that much money!

Then there are the films.

Like I said, I am not passionate about Potter. I never went to a midnight showing dressed in an adult diaper and called myself Dobby.

Urge to punt rising...

I respect Rowling and the series for all it has accomplished, and I understand the place it has in our culture - I just grew up a few years too late to truly fall in love with it. For this reason, I have always viewed the films through a dispassionate lens. I never saw the movies as the visual fulfilment of my inner-geek fanboy's wildest dreams, but as a film lover, and I didn't go in with book in hand fuming at the discrepancies from literal word on the page to its visually realized counterparts. I understand that when making films, you can never truly realize the breadth of what the written word covers or implies, and showing can be incredibly more difficult than telling in certain respects.

The film franchise has held up it's side of the bargain - to a point. Yes there existed some very big things left out of movies 1-5 (including the Neville Longbottom could be the "chosen one" plot line) but I felt the actors grew into the characters, and thus the emotional development felt real and mirrored the book spiritually if not literally.

I had some very giant problems with the way that Half-Blood Prince was handled, however, and I was kind of shocked that they asked director David Yates to return for the final installment that became two films. I remained hopeful, though, because he could apologize for the botched movie 6 set-up as long as the final film delivered.

As a summer movie, sure the film delivers. The action is non-stop (as it should be after the snooze-fest first half), and most characters that are still alive get some much needed fan-service and things to do in the background. Many will walk away happy, but there will be a sadness there from seeing a beloved series ending rather than the sadness of Hogwarts being destroyed or major characters dying. I think as a final film in a storied franchise, it rested too much on the hype and the explosions when it deserved to be more than a passable summer blockbuster. It deserved to define an era, to stir people's hearts and imaginations and bring some closure.

Honestly, the only thing that was truly stirring in the final film was Alan Rickman's realization of Snape's story that, while epic in its tragedy, should NOT be the biggest emotional beat in the film (considering how much they f'd up his story in Prince). As a fan of movies, I really think that the final film missed on a lot of emotional marks and opportunities with characters that could have solidified the franchise as classic. Unlike Return of the King which caught a lot shit at the time from emotionally stunted assholes (u mad bro?) about Peter Jackson choosing to close the series with 30 minutes of "goodbye," Deathly Hallows just kind of, well, ends.

Cutting yourself IS sad little Snape

Of course, we all knew what was supposed to happen; all the plot points of the book are realized - it just doesn't feel like how a once in a generation epic film franchise that has spanned a decade should end. I may need to see the film again to figure out where it lost its focus, but I feel as if it were shortly after Harry reaches Hogwarts and battle for the castle erupts. Everything seems to devolve at that point in to a bunch of unfocused scenes of Harry running around, when really there should have been some pretty emotional wizard duels going on to hone in on. If there is one scene I can readily point to as falling flat when it really shouldn't have, it's when an important character's body is being brought back to Hogwarts after dying, and Neville Longbottom's response is, "family and friends die all the time!"

Uh, you cold-blooded, sir.

Hell, even the Hermoine/Ron connection managed to feel "tacked on." Sad to say, but I was even underwhelmed by the literal magic in the film, as nothing in it comes remotely close to being as cool as the Voldermort and Dumbledore duel which was...in movie...five (wtf)?

Sorry kids, the coolest wizard fight happened 3 movie ago. Thank Gryffindor's balls for Youtube!

I am not sure how the rest of you true die-hard Potter fans feel (post away below), but I was just kind of let-down with the way the final two (counting Prince) films panned-out, which is sad because they definitely had the strongest source material. I couldn't help thinking that what I had witnessed wasn't exactly timeless like the books they are based on, but rather a film franchise ripe for remake in about twenty years. These films are no Lord of the Rings by any means, and I think Hallows sort of proves Peter Jackson right in that it's better to give fans too much rather than too little - especially in a final act that the an entire series is built toward.

As for Rowling, I hope she returns to Harry Potter's world in some fashion (hell if you're earning $1000 a letter, you would be a fool not to) - just not with H.P. himself. Harry's story is done, and I think Rowling is original enough and has learned the tricks of the trade to not fall back on Albus Severus Potter and the Oh Shit the Bad Man With No Nose is Still Alive (and I touched his snake)!

***

Batman 3 Teaser Trailer!

2011-07-18T16:04:00.000-05:00

Batman has learned a few tricks of the trade in The Dark Knight Rises

What can we learn from a teaser that shows/tells us nothing?

This is the trailer that I am sure the whole country saw attached to HP7.5 (as the highest grossing film of all time opening weekend, that is definitely not an understatement).

What can we glean? It's mostly made up of stock footage from the previous two movies, but we do learn some interesting tidbits from an injured Gorden in the hospital (I guess the one that Joker didn't blow up): at some point after The Dark Knight , Bruce Wayne gives up on Batman, and the shift in power allows for the rise of a "great evil" (presumably Bane by the quick cutaways). Batman will have to come back to stop the new threat.

If we look at the villain/hero dynamic, Bane is the first real foe that can withstand Batmans physical abilities. In the comics, one of the most iconic images in all of the Batman lore is when Bane breaks Batman's back:

I am not saying that will happen here (perhaps that is Gorden's fate), but we have never seen that sort of dynamic in Nolan's universe, as Batman could pretty much handle any baddy in a fight. Joker pushed Batman mentally, and now we are getting a villain that can push Bruce to the brink physically. Should make for some insane action.

The HD version is currently only available on the film's Facebook page

Gray Reviews Infamous 2!

2011-07-14T15:52:00.002-05:00

(**NOTE: This was originally posted on my other blog on the San Antonio Current Website on June 17th, 2011. I am re-posting it here to connect it to my other personal work from the past and future. If you haven’t read it yet, hope you enjoy.)

Cole McGrath didn’t want this—The powers, the control, the power to become worshiped or feared—he was a messenger-turned-savior asEmpireCitywas overrun by Militia controlled by a shadowy agency known as the First Sons. But this choice wasn’t his to make. In fact, it was never a choice at all; Kessler, another electricity wielding being, used the powerful ray sphere not to destroy Cole’s life, but to prepare it.

The first Infamous received critical acclaim for it’s fresh comic book-esque storytelling coupled with the standard sandbox-gameplay made famous by games life Grand Theft Auto 3, Red Dead Redemption and Assassin’s Creed. In it’s climax, Cole was warned of an impending storm that would wipe out most of mankind in a sea of fire. Known only as the beast, Kessler wanted to prepare Cole so that he could become the savior mankind would soon need. Infamous 2 picks up soon after the original, as Cole squares off against the monstrous creature…and gets his ass kicked. With a few clever plot twists, solid vocal performances, improved and streamlined combat mechanics and two different ending possibilities, Infamous 2 is a wonderful sequel that properly maintains what made the first title great and deepens the narrative and Cole’s world.

The only way to slow down the Coors Light bullet train

Infamous 2 takes Cole to the city of New Marais, designed as a carbon copy of modern day New Orleans. Half bustling city and half bayou, Cole must feverishly improve his powers before The Beast finds him and destroys any chance of mankind’s survival. Alongside Cole’s best friend Zeke, he is joined by newcomers Kuo and Nix. While they place a significant story role, they also play into the Karma and Power mechanics of Cole’s electric repetoire. Good deeds (stopping muggings, saving hostages, healing people) will merit you good karma, while Evil actions (killing cops, leeching life, breaking up musician groups) grant you evil karma. Furthering Cole in either side will grant him unique powers, while locking out others. The system is also coupled later on in the game with alternate powers, such as fire or ice. Each branch has it’s strengths and weaknesses, given the combat situation at hand, but on the whole they are both wildly unique and a whole lot of fun to play around with (giving you a definite reason to play through it again).

The original Infamous had Cole progressing through a linear story while having access to several side missions and optional avenues to delve into the game’s back story. This mechanic is left largely unchanged with the same mission structure and more “dead drops”. Carrier pidgeons have several audio logs that reveal interviews with several past and present characters, exploring their motives and histories with each other. While not necessary to be beat the game, it does lend an emotional hand to Cole’s friends and enemies as you hear about what went on before Cole was ever in the mix. Moreover, it also helps deepen the impact of the game’s two significantly different endings. Depending upon Cole’s karmic state, the ending sequence changes a few details that may yield vast consequences to the rest of the world, should there be a 3rd installment (which is all but certain, given this game’s success so far).

Lipromax may cause: insane amounts of controllable electricity and, in some rare cases, anal leakage.

Despite a few wonky camera issues, small AI grievances and just a touch of framerate dipping in a few areas, Infamous 2 is an all around knockout of a sequel that deserves any PS3 owner’s attention. Even if you have not played the original title, the sequel does a great job of filling in the important details and gets you off and running in no time. Since the ending of the first Infamous, I’ve been eagerly awaiting a second helping just for a chance to see what The Beast was all about. Fortunately, I found so much more that in the end, The Beast was really nothing more than a damn good reason to play Cole McGrath again.

I didn't know they sold those on Bourbon Street!

See you in the next level,

Gray

Hobbit Dwarf Count Now = 10

2011-07-13T19:49:00.005-05:00

We got the royal young bucks and some West Virginian Hobbits!

Two more images have been released this week (in advance of ComiCon) revealing 5 more Dwarves that will be joining Biblo on his Unexpected Journey .

First off are the youngest of the Dwarves, Kili and Fili:

From Left: Fili the "Rogue", and Kili the "Suave Shampoo"

I like it, as it represents such a departure on what we thought a Middle Earth Dwarf could and should look like; those duel wielding blades of Fili are pretty rad, and Kili is holding what looks to be a large Honda Civic key to every (dwarf) woman's heart.

Here is the official studio bio blurb:

Two of the youngest Dwarves, Fili and Kili have been born into the royal line of Durin and raised under the stern guardianship of their uncle, Thorin Oakensheild. Neither has ever travelled far, nor ever seen the fabled Dwarf City of Erebor. For both, the journey to the Lonely Mountain represents adventure and excitement. Skilled fighters, both brothers set off on their adventure armed with the invincible courage of youth, neither being able to imagine the fate which lies before them.

Next up are the brothers Bofur, Bombur, and Bifur:

From left: Bombur, Bofur, and Bifur

Dizam, look at that fat Dwarf - I love how he is equipped with nothing but a ladle and stretchy pants! Bofur looks like your West Virginian cousin most likely to kidnap and throw you in a hole - demanding you put the "lotion on the skin." As for Bifur, well, he looks more like a crazed Tom Hanks from Castaway , so maybe "Wilson" the volleyball will finally get some work.

And the official bio for these guys:

Born and bred in the West, descendants of coal miners and iron workers, they have joined the Quest for the Lonely Mountain partly to seek their fortune and partly because they were told the beer was free.

Methinks this will be The Hangover trio of Middle Earth.

Clint Reviews Horrible Bosses!

2011-07-12T21:41:00.003-05:00

"I am gonna bend her over and show her the 50 states"

We live in an cinematic era of rehashes, re-imaginings, and remakes; original flicks that prove successful spawn numerous clones that try to re-catch lightning in a bottle by breaking down original successes into a formula that can be easily followed and fast to produce.

Yes, rehashing makes me a sad
panda too.

In the comedy world, this cycle of clones is all about reproducing The Hangover , which already proved that it's own imitation can ironically go horribly wrong; The Hangover Part 2's attempt at escalation proved to be a rote mockery of its own formulaic set-up. Yes, it can still bring the funny, but smart audiences and critics feel cheated when writers and studious make absolutely no attempt to bring something original to the table. Instead studios feel more content to throw out an easy rehash while they reap the profits.

Thankfully, in the same summer has The Hangover delivered a lame clone of itself, there is another clone that I actually enjoyed in Horrible Bosses . First, lets take a gander at Horrible Bosses character descriptions (because all successful comedies must now follow the Hangover rule of 3)

One character who is a cocksure, laid back ladies man with a "don't give a fuck" attitude. He "goes with the flow" and doesn't sweat the small stuff, instead opting toward solving his and the group's problems.
One character who is reserved, type-A workaholic who is reticent to "rock the boat" and always opts to stay in his comfort zone. He is very much the straight-laced one of the group, and often the voice of reason when he is not being openly appalled at the situations he finds himself in.
One character whose ignorance is the combination of endearing naiveté and stupidity. He is often the focal point for the films physical comedy and the source of the most one-liners. Also, he has a beard.

Sound familiar? No it's not Phil, Stu, and Alan from The Hangover , silly - but Kurt, Nick, and Dale from Horrible Bosses!

See what I mean? Thankfully, the premise of the film somewhat delivers: three buddies hatch a scheme to kill each of the evil bosses that make their lives a private hell every day. But, as The Hangover proved, the premise is little more than a framework for the three main characters to feed off each other while they stumble through a series of unfortunate events.

Andy Sudeikis of SNL fame plays the Phil-like Kurt, the laid back lady-killer who originally hatches the plan to kill the friends' bosses. I admit, his style of comedy and improvisation has grown on me - his delivery of one-liners just comes across as more natural, and thus funnier. Kurt's boss, played by a pretty over-the-top coked out Colin Farrell, resents him because his recently diseased father treated Kurt like the son he never had instead. Of the three main characters, Sudeikis and Farrell's screen time is relatively abbreviated, which is kind of a shame because Farrell kills it for the short amount of time he is on screen.

"Acting"

Jason Bateman fills the "Stu" role of the group as the downtrodden hard-working accountant, Nick, who gets nothing but shit on by his boss, played by an evil Kevin Spacey. I really do not care if Spacey is type cast anymore - the way he effortlessly reaches new levels of "asshole" makes you day dream about his smug face eating a shiv; his performance in Bosses makes his Lex Luthor look like Ghandi - which is probably why Superman Returns was so damn boring - no matter what you fanboys say. Jason Bateman has the white-collar "everyman" down to a science, and continues on being the "Michael Bluth" we all know and love (which only makes me yearn for an Arrested Development film more).

Then there is Charlie Day as "Dale," or as he should be known: "Charlie" from Always Sunny. I mean, that's exactly who this character is anyway. Dale is probably the marginally more intelligent of the two characters, but in reality his function and antics in the film are straight up Charlie from Sunny mixed with Zack Galifinakas' Alan from Hangover ; but what's the problem with that? Day's Charlie is the best thing going for Sunny, and it's no wonder that he was the first of the that cast to get a major motion picture. In Bosses , Day's "Dale" works as a Dental Assistant with a haunted past for sublimely sexy dentist played by Jennifer Anniston (I don't think I ever remember her being as hot as she is in this film). The problem: Dale is freshly engaged but is the constant "victim" of Dr. Anniston's attempted rapes - much to the delight of his friends Kurt and Nick who belittle Dale for having the best "problem" in the world."

I need to eat more candy...

Once the plot gets going and plans are set in motion to murder their bosses, the shenanigans ensue. Horrible Bosses manages to stay relatively grounded compared to the absurdity of the Hangover films, which I have to admit is kind of a relief. Though like the plot is pretty easy to predict (with one shocking twist), I enjoyed the fresh chemistry of Day, Sudeikis, and Bateman; their journey is an enjoyable one that kept a smile on my face and was raunchy without being downright vile like Hangover 2 . It's no classic, but its worth a shot for a chuckle.

***

Batman 3 Teaser Poster Is Win!

2011-07-12T19:39:00.000-05:00

Yeah, things aren't looking so good for the Bats...

This poster seems to indicate complete and total Gotham destruction, and evokes the sort of Inception-like dreamscape dystopia of director Christopher Nolan's most recent blockbuster. That, or someone shot a "huge friggen bat" out of the sky.

Rumor has it that an actual early teaser for The Dark Knight Rises is attached to Harry Potter 7.5 this Friday, as if we all needed another reason to see that film. I wouldn't expect much actual footage, if any, as The Dark Knight's first teaser was little more than the Joker talking while the giant Batman symbol crumbled.

My guess, this time the Batman symbol gets curb-stomped.

Kenny Powers - MFCEO Of K-Swiss

2011-07-11T17:46:00.001-05:00

The day that a marketing department gave Robocop a blowjob is here

Whoever had the balls over at K-Swiss to green light this should be given a raise; Danny McBride's character, Kenny Powers, from HBO's Eastbound and Down , is already a cult phenomenon in many circles, and had already done a few nationally televised commercials for the shoe company.

The problem was that to be nationally televised, K-Swiss pretty much had to undercut everything that makes McBride's Kenny Powers appealing in the first place (vulgur, crass, redneck), which defeats the purpose and reduces his presence as a "pitch-man" to more of an inside joke.

This new piece of K-Swiss advertising that was just freshly released on the interwebz is finally the perfect marriage of character and brand, utilizing the red-band "anything goes" nature of Internet viral videos to do the character justice while simultaneously embedding the word "tubes" into your consumer subconscious. Honestly, this could spark a new wave of "hard-R" advertising - something that if done as right as this should bring result in some pretty damn entertaining fare.

Now if only we could get some badass Redband movie trailers in front of R-Rated movies - you know, so we can further expedite the degradation of our culture's moral fiber. Lolz.

E3 Bioshock Infinite Gameplay Will Blow Your Mind

2011-07-09T10:48:00.001-05:00

Not even joking.

The previous Bioshocks, which took place in an underwater utopia gone bad, seem to now have been merely a warm-up to their spiritual successor: Bioshock Infinite . Those games were so atmospheric and creepy that there was even a movie deal with Gore Verbinski, the director of The Ring and the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, set to helm before it became apparent that to do the story and the feel of those games justice it was going to cost the studio a pretty penny, and they balked.

That being said, why invest in a movie when you can pretty much create the perfect interactive experience through a videogame? Watching this Bioshock Infinite trailer, I can't even imagine what it would be like to actually be the one pulling off half the stuff that's going on in the trailer. Though it takes place in a flying city rather than underwater, the creepy atmosphere from the previous games is still present so it feels like the Bioshock universe. Yet, there is one thing I can promise you: you've never seen action in a videogame done like this.

Gray Reviews Ocarina of Time 3D!

2011-07-08T10:45:00.001-05:00

The term “remake” is one of both business and pleasure, all but certifying financial gain while simultaneously treading a tight rope between enhancement and sacrilege. Once a game has reached a decade or more in age, modern day opinion seems to agree the title is up for a round two of sorts: shine the paint, replace the engine, fine tune the coding, etc etc etc… But when a game has reached a degree of accolade–some lofty level of worship most developers dream their game one day reaching–it seems as if it also becomes taboo for anyone to even utter the ‘r’ word in regards to these olympian feats of video games. Among the myriad of arguments for and against remaking old games, one of the largest proponents of remaking occurred in my very home. My younger brother, now 16, was only 3 when the Ocarina of Time first debuted. Without the full set of nerd motor skills required to beat Ocarina, he neither finished nor remembered ever playing it. He was soon to become part of the new generation of gamers; not unlike how much of youth today enjoy the new Star Wars trilogy more than the original, they are a culture who have a different rubric for modern entertainment. Upon finishing Ocarina on my 3DS, I finally convinced him to play through it, all the time assuring him it was better than Twilight Princess (the only other Zelda game he had ever completed). It took him just 3 days to complete it–without doing all of the side stories nor collecting all of the heart pieces, of course–and after he was done he doled out the dubious grade of “it was alright. It wasn’t like Assassin’s Creed 2 or anything…”

I’m sorry….come again?

I quickly got on his nerves the following days as I pestered him to explain his opinion. But even when he explained his disappointment by the game’s relatively simple narrative and game play mechanics, I stubbornly refused to think my younger brother, a greater and more capable nerd than I will ever become, could not be impacted by such a monumental game. It took a few weeks of discussion and reflection before I started to dawn on the growing transition within the ranks of gamers across the world. For those who wish to be spared by my usual rants, here is the short version: Despite its perfection, despite the hype, and despite all of the praise it deserves, the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D can be summed up in four words,

“It’s Perfect. So What?”

Now that is a crude and very undermining way of summarizing all of the various points one could make about Ocarina 3D, I agree, but no matter how much I changed my view point or attempted to bridge the gap between my own prejudice and that of the younger masses, the answer was the same. Since most of this writing will be devoted to a darker territory than what is usually discussed in video game reviews, check out my other blog on the SA Current to read my direct review of Ocarina 3D. From this point forward, I seek to explore this growing disparity between Ocarina and the modern gaming era and how the greatest video games ever made may eventually become a legend…literally.

Ocarina was, for the most part, a game changer for the video game industry. Since 3-dimensional worlds were becoming a reality, Nintendo sought to set the bar higher than most could hope to achieve. And much like Super Mario 64, they succeeded quite beautifully; the public was amazed, and gamers were enthralled. It was a Hyrule that was better realized than anything our imaginations could come up with. The combat was tight and responive, the environments were diverse, and the story was near flawless. It was, as I continue to reiterate, perfect. At that time.

Perfect - but seriously, F' the water temple!

Perhaps the biggest understanding I’ve been forced to grapple with is the level of complexity between games of my generation and those played today. Recently on the G4 network (a channel devoted entirely to video games), they hosted their own American Idol-esque tournament to decide the greatest video game series ever. After hundreds of entries, it came down to the Legend of Zelda versus Assassin’s Creed. Two games, whose stories and plot couldn’t be farther apart in terms of game play or creative narration, were being forced together and the public had to choose. But how did it come to this? It was baffling to think of how Altair and Ezio could be compared to Link and Zelda, yet a choice had to be made. But to my expectation, the Assassins were victorious. Not because they were the superior games, but because they were made for the new generation.

Playing Ocarina again after thirteen years was a fascinating experience, both physically and mentally. Aside from getting used to the new controls and having my own Assassin’s Creed moments of remembering how to beat various bosses or solving the nastier puzzles, I saw that Zelda’s core game play mechanics don’t translate quite well after all these years. In a sense, The Legend of Zelda is…well…simple. Moving from one dungeon to another, acquiring the new item that’s essential to defeating the boss, and rescuing the princess at the end, it’s simply not enough anymore. For the new generation, ideals like these are elementary to what they are accustomed to. When I thought about why my younger brother compared Zelda to Assassin’s Creed, I started to see what he really meant. It wasn’t a slight against the games I grew up loving; it was an observation that those titles had less demanded from them then the games made today. And he’s right.

Everybody wins.

Both games may be an action/adventure game at its most bare, but AC was born through a complex marriage of historical context and science fiction. This was later perfected in AC2 and AC:Brotherhood, with the addition of peripheral characters coming into play and political corruption fueling hidden agendas. What difference is there between Ocarina of Time, Link to the Past and Twilight Princess? Besides huge graphical leaps and updated item management capabilites, the story seems to be exactly the same time and time again. Both series may still be a work of fiction, but the level of complexity between the two is staggering. In a sense, I believe this distinction is what will forever set the older generation’s games apart from what we play today. It by no means dampers the legacy left by predecessors like Zelda, Final Fantasy or Legacy of Kain, but merely points out that like all facets of life, things change. And I fear that if the Legend of Zelda franchise is to thrive for years to come, they too must embrace the winds of change—the dungeon-crawling, heart-piece gathering, green-garbed hero won’t work for much longer.

There is an evolution in the video game industry, one that is changing with break-neck speed. What took the movie industry to reach in 70 years, the gaming industry has reached in just 30. While technology has forever provided the form of the video games we play, we are just now starting to explore their function. To me, playing through Ocarina of Time again taught me more about what I love than any game has in the past decade. I can let myself become the ol’ fogey who reminisces about games of old where one analog stick was enough and no character model was more than 64 polygons, or I can appreciate what games like Zelda, Banjo and Kazooie, Metroid, Jak and Dexter, Panzar Dragoon, and Chrono Cross taught me. This is an industry I love, and while some of my favorite games may fade away, my passion never will.

And that’s what makes me a gamer.

See you in the next level,
Gray

Meet Ori, Dori, and Nori from The Hobbit!

2011-07-07T14:27:00.001-05:00

*Now with Oin and Gimli's dad Gloin!

This is the what I have been waiting for!

I can't disagree with Gimili's design, but he was very much the "every-dwarf," in that he embodied much of what we preconceive a Middle Earth dwarf to look like; it was fine for Lord of the Rings , where he essentially was the only dwarf we ever saw save for the prologue and the council of Elrond, so the audience never had a reason to tell him apart from any other Dwarf.

This image (released on the flim's Facebook page) of the brothers, Ori, Nori, and Dori, is exactly what I was hoping for. Be it that there are 13 Dwarves rather than 1 to try and tell the difference between on the fly, this should give you an idea about how different each dwarf could be:

(From Left) The Brothers Nori, Ori, and Dori

Here is the offiicial "bio" release:

DORI, NORI & ORI
These three brothers, all sons of the same mother, could not be more different from each other. Dori, the oldest, spends much of his time watching out for Ori, the youngest; making sure he’s not caught a chill or got himself killed by Wargs or Goblins. Nobody quite knows what Nori gets up to most of the time, except that it’s guaranteed to be dodgy and quite probably, illegal. Dori, Nori and Ori are intensely loyal to each other – and whilst they are perfectly happy fighting amongst themselves, woe-betide anyone who means harm to one of these brothers.

Not only do sit here transfixed by Nori's awesome hair (what the hell do you even call that style), but I am also inspired with the best (worst) idea for my 2 brothers and I to get these guys' names tattooed on our lower backs.

We could call it a "Sauron Stamp"

*Yahoo released a photo of Gimli's kin too!

Immortals Trailer!

2011-07-05T14:07:00.001-05:00

Hopefully this will be the movie that purges any remaining memories of the crappy Clash of the Titans remake; it's done by the same people who produced 300 (sans Zack Snyder), so expect some gratuitous amounts of hyper-realized Greek Mythology and plenty of eviscerating.

I am not too impressed by the lead actor, but maybe it's just because Leonidas should be the star of every one of these "Sword and Sandal" flicks.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol Trailer!

2011-06-29T09:37:00.001-05:00

The new trailer for Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol is out, and it seems like, once again, the team has somehow been betrayed.

This looks a little bit more ensemble, which it should be since it has been long known that this movie would represent the jumping off point for the Xenu-loving Cruise, and the ascension of Jeremy Renner as as the franchise's lead character.

I enjoyed the J.J. Abrams directed third one, and he is the official producer of this film which would lead me to believe that it will be more akin to MI: III rather than the whacky MI:II .

Transformers 3 Review!

2011-06-28T14:05:00.003-05:00

I had the privilege of going to the aintitcool premier of the third Transformers movie last night; it was a pretty neat experience to actually see blogging/geek idol, Harry Knowles, and hear his funny intro to the movie. Basically, he said that he hated the previous two movies, that there was still stupid shit in the third one but that the last hour of the movie had crazy jaw-dropping 3D action that would win everyone over.

Having now seen the film the way it was meant to be seen, it's pretty easy to say that Transformers: Dark of the Moon is far and away, the best of the three movies; yet, to say that T:DM is a good movie is like giving it a commendation for not being as horribly retarded as Revenge of the Fallen.

Yes there is still stupid shit all over this film, like most of the human stuff not having to do with Shia LeBeouf's character; the writers and Michael Bay always seem to make it virtually impossible for any other human to not act as some sort of comic relief. Thankfully, the terrible human elements so played up in previous films for yucks have been minimized this time around

I H8 you people so much.

There are, of course, the standard giant-sized plot holes in this film as well; there is a surprise villainous turn that makes you scratch your head when you think about a certain scene in the middle of the film where that character basically had the opportunity to seize power, but doesn't because the audience is not supposed to know he is a villain.

What plot? Douche.

Also the premise of the film, that our entire space race with the Russians was so that we could get to the moon and investigate a crashed Transformer space craft, might have been the perfect way to have started this whole series in the first place; having it come as the third act and in context with the insane plots of the previous two films, though, will make your head explode if you try and reconcile Dark of the Moon's story with what has come before. It's almost as if Michael Bay and his team of writers:

A) Hope you don't care about plot or
B) Just ignore all that mess that came before.

Thankfully, the much maligned racist twin robots are absent, though we have to put up with the antics of two of Sam's pet robots in their place. The big problem with these films is that unless you have the toys, you really have no idea who most of the Autobots or Decepticons are unless the film explicitly name drops them. Even still, your left to wonder: why most of the Decepticons speak rage/gibberish yet always choose the strategically best vehicles to turn into, why the hell are there always hundreds of Decepticons more than Autobots even after the film explicitly states that there was a second wave of Autobots (and by wave I mean like 4 of them) who, save for the red porche autobot, turn into some pretty lame shit.

Why the hell can't Optimus get some damn Autobot aeriel support? If it ever becomes financially viable, there needs to be a movie (perhaps the prequel origin story about the War of Cybertron?) that is just straight about the robots so we aren't left scratching our head if we were supposed to care about the nameless autobot that just got waxed.

Proof that flying autobots exist. Nah, they would probably be racist in the films.

If you manage to slog through the first hour and a half, you're in for a treat: the last hour is just one long action scene. The action looks stunning, and is definitely the most legitimate use of 3D since Avatar . I'll need to see the movie again, but from the first viewing I took away that Mr. Knowles somewhat overstated how "jaw-dropping" the action at the end of the movie was. There were bits and pieces, but the things happening on screen never registered as "amazing" - it's stuff blowing up other stuff in prettier ways.

I will admit, though, that watching the Nest team doing the "Flying Squirrel" helicopter jump has to rank up there as one of the greatest actions shots of all time (and even cooler because it was real). It's ironic, though, because a lot of the best stuff in the final act has to do with the human set-pieces, even when they are getting asploded left and right by Decepticons. The Transformer fights do have a definite edge this time out, with the Autobots getting down-right bloodthirsty; but, like I said before, they may look pretty but you'll have a hard time figuring out who's shooting at who half the time, and why the hell the leader of the autobots gets his ass kicked every movie.

There are still those things throughout the final hour that I just wish Bay could have reigned it in even further. The way LeBeouf's tiny pet Autobots destroy a GIANT DECEPTICON WAR VESSEL with absolutely no resistance is eye-rolling bad (considering the establish not 10 minutes previous that all the flying vessels are being operated by Decepticon pilots), and the final battle feels a little anticlimactic after an hour of none-stop action. Really, we couldn't have edited those tiny things out and added 5 minutes to the final battle?

Chicago, more like Dead-Cago.

Dark of the Moon is enjoyable as a Summer action movie, and is light years beyond the rage-inducing Revenge of the Fallen. Be prepared to still put up with some plot bullshit and Shia LeBeouf scream-talking for most of the film, at least until the final hour starts - then just sit back, turn your brain off, and enjoy. Really if your brain is still on, you'll just be thinking why the hell Michael Bay couldn't have figured out what people really want to see in this franchise sooner.

***

Old Republic Beta Diaries: Sith Marauder Level 1-20

2011-06-27T13:03:00.004-05:00

Yes, I am extremely lucky to have gotten into this Beta; it is a timely boon considering I don't know how much time I will truly have to invest in the finished produce once I start Graduate School in the fall.

After waiting hours for the monstrous game file to download, I immediately chose the path that I will eventually go down in the final release: the Sith Warrior. What can I say, I already day-dream about having the ability to force choke old country-club windbags, so it seemed like the natural choice.

Story

There is one element that has always been touted in The Old Republic's development cycle, and that was just how immersing the story is for each character class. Having played through the first two planets in the Sith Warrior cycle, I can honestly say that Bioware was not throwing out bullshit that we just wanted to hear.

The way your character advances through the story is a veritable MMORPG game-changer for the single player experience. Regardless of the thousands upon thousands of hours of voice acting, there has not been character dialogue this dynamic and immersing in an MMO...well ever. Truthfully, the way you can interact with other characters feels like its straight out of another famous Bioware title, Dragon Age.

Yes, you CAN tell this guy he looks like an asshole.

I started playing the through the story choosing courses of dialogue pragmatically, yet with the idea that I wanted to maintain my "Sith" edge. The problem was, that there are moral dilemmas and paths of dialogue that when I chose pragmatically, I often found myself accruing "Light Side" force alignment points rather than Dark. Not only that, but certain dialogue choices closed off the ability to accrue alignment points, yet allowed me to get more money or even a better item than I would have when completing a quest. Hell, at one point, I even talked an NPC into having sex with me. I promised her I would return...for a price.

I noticed that there were some pretty nice items available, but with the condition that I was at least "Dark Side Tier 1;" from then on, I pretty much chose paths of dialogue that gained me "Dark" alignment points (the center of the dialogue box will show a white crystal for possible Light points, or a red crystal for Dark).

Then of course, are the group "Flashpoints." I have only played the "Black Talon" flashpoint a couple of times, yet I was struck by how different both instances were based solely on random dialogue choices selected by my group. The way a group interacts with NPCs in the flash-point story is a little odd, and may need some tweaking. Basically, the group is all talking to the same NPC, and each person has the ability to choose different lines of dialogue; however, the game randomly rolls the dice for each player, with the highest roll winning the ability to actually speak that line of dialogue.

It only takes one person to muck up a flashpoint.

Like I said, this played out differently in both flashpoints, as one group member won a lot of rolls, but was clearly trying to boost his "Light" force alignment, much to the rest of our group's chagrin as we all got the same "Light" points. Not only that, but his dialogue choices completely closed off a section of the flashpoint that I didn't even know existed until I played it through again with a different group who mostly made "Dark" choices. Yes, it's cool and immersing, but you can see the potential for annoyance. It's almost like you want to have a pow-wow with your group before hand on how you want to play the flashpoint. Also, you can't skip dialogue like you can in the single-player, and the Black Talon runs I did took 45-60 minutes, with a lot of that a lot of waiting through the story.

Gameplay

What struck me about the early game mechanics of the Sith Warrior was just how many abilities become available to you at each level. You get an AOE ability, a DoT, a force jump, a buff, a lightsaber form - all in the first five levels. By level 20 (after I chose my advanced "Marauder" class at level 10), I have two and a half rows of different skills I can choose from, all with differing situational uses. There really is a great deal of variety about how you approach every battle, as you can make it as straightforward or uniquely badass as you want.

Sure you could do the standard force jump into a group of mobs and AOE smash the ground, and single target everything down with saber slashes. Or, you could start of with a force choke to immobilize and kill the first mob, force scream to incapacitate the other, impale the third with a DoT that will kill him over time, etc.. What's cool is that my Sith Marauder seems to instinctively know and respond to every change of target with a fluid motion or arc with the lightsaber, rather than just an abrasive turn and slash. The action is fast and fun, and looks incredible.

The "rage" mechanics are also a nice change of pace in an MMO. Rather than having a set amount of replenishing energy, Sith Warriors are dependent upon building rage through a few abilities, while other abilities exhaust that rage. Standard slashes, the force jump "charge", and force choke all build rage (and there are some long-cooldown abilities that can give you a quick amount of rage in a pinch). The refreshing thing is that fighting is not a matter of a pushing a few buttons over and over, but actually can get pretty strategic as you manage building rage and spending rage depending on the situation. With the sheer amount of useful abilities, I actually find myself methodically clicking more than button-mashing. Oh, and say goodbye to "bandaging" or "sitting down" after battle to replenish health, as each class in the game has an ability that regenerates 7% of your health per second, making the turnaround even after a grueling fight really short.

All Sith warriors are pretty much the same until you get the opportunity to choose between the advanced "Marauder" or "Juggernaut" classes. Being a Sith Marauder is probably the closest thing to a "Rogue" class on the Empire's side. It's mostly melee and relies on strength, but you can boost your force stat (or Willpower) enough to do some serious damage with the force abilities available to you. Right now, I am focusing on the "Carnage" combat tree, which seems to have a lot of passive PVE bonuses that will aid me through the single player and increase my potency with the dual-lightsabers. There is an "Assassin" tree, which also seems PVE but is heavily DoT oriented and screams "end-game bossfights." There is a third tree, which I can't remember for the life of me, but apparently it's the one tree that is also shared with the "Juggernaut" class and seems to have a lot of PVP attributes. Basically, the talent system and concepts have been lifted directly out of World of Warcraft, which in this case is probably a good thing.

If there is one thing that leaves me scratching my head, is that every time I have a new rank of an ability available to me, the price to buy it is pretty astronomical for what usually amounts to only a 15-30 damage bonus increase. Considering each skill already scales with your stats, there is in fact little incentive to even buy new skill ranks. Hopefully the cost will be adjusted by release.

Companions

Around levels 7-9, the story will give you your first companion. I won't ruin the Sith Warrior's story, but let me be the first to say that having an NPC party member fight, talk, and run around with you on your adventures can be pretty damn cool. It's not like having a pet at all, but rather an actual an permanent party member who you can completely outfit as you see fit. For grouping purposes, they actually physically count as a party member; for example, if three people join up in a group, each with their companions active, one companion will randomly be dismissed since the max number in a group can only be 5.

You pick up a lot of junk in this game, that in bulk can be sold for a decent amount of credits. It's a damn miracle that Bioware gave the companion the ability to vanish for 60 seconds while they sell all your useless stuff and clear out some bag space. Once I got my gathering secondary crew skills (archaeology and scavenging) I became giddy when I held shift-rightclick, an old habit from my WoW days to quickly pick all the resources out of a node; yet, my character didn't stop and pick up the items, but rather shift/right click made my companion do it for me. That's right, with an active companion, your character never has to stop again - just shift/right click and move on while your companion does the dirty work. Fuck. Yes.

I still have just my one companion, but apparently there will be a couple more as the story advances. Really, the only tedious aspects with the companion has been some awkward pathing issues by the NPC that can get it killed, as well as having to babysit the "passive" button while running back through hostile territory so that they don't stop and fight the mobs that are running after you. Oh yeah, and every time they speak it takes you out of sprint. Bitch, can't it wait?

A Group Problem

The only aspect of the game that I find incredibly annoying is grouping. It's ironic, because what makes the single-player so fluid is what makes grouping a pain, in that the game and the planets you are on are broken down into phases; these phases are sort of like dimensions that overlap which allow for you to run around and do quests without having to really worry that much about camping quest mobs or competing for objectives with other players, because the bulk of the other players are in a different phase of the planet. Sure, you'll run into people in your own phase, but the real problem is when a quest requires a group and the people that join are in another phase.

What happens is that the group leader invites players, but if those people happen to be in a different phase they have to then choose the option of "jumping to the group leader's phase." Hell, you could physically be exactly where your group needs to meet to start the quest, but if you have to jump phases the game loads you up all the way at the beginning of the planet, forcing you to travel all over again and the group to wait. It is an odd problem to have, as it seems obvious that there should "phase pylons" that could load you closer to the group, or maybe just load you up in the closest medical station (which are everywhere). Right now, it pays to be the group leader, while others have to hoof it all over the place.

I'll take a speeder for 1000000, Alex.

Right now, I am saving up for my first speeder as I advance to the third planet in the Sith Warrior's story. Looking ahead, I hope to talk about the PVP, more companions, and possibly even space battles if I can make it that far.

Until then, force choke 'em if you got 'em.

Captain America Theatrical Trailer!

2011-06-23T20:01:00.000-05:00

This trailer is hella good; if the early screenings are any indication, the movie should be just as badass. Thor was better than I ever good have anticipated, but this has had a good word of mouth from the the get-go, so I can reasonably say my expectations are at a different level.

First Hobbit Stills!

2011-06-23T10:05:00.000-05:00

Wow this is unexpected and f'ing awesome. Entertainment weekly snagged some early Hobbit stills, and everything looks pretty darn spot on. Lord of the Rings was the "Star Wars" of our generation, and I have no doubts that Hobbit movies are going to be more of the same, if not even more badass.

Hell if they can do for Smaug what they did for Gollum, this series will be undeniably timeless.

CLICK CONFUSED BILBO FOR MORE!

Mortal Kombat Legacy - Scorpion Vs. Sub Zero

2011-06-22T12:55:00.000-05:00

I have been very underwhelmed with the Mortal Kombat "webisodes." The concept showed promise before it was green-lighted to become a series, and everything since then seems to be pretty hastily thrown together.

In any case, this was probably the episode everyone wanted to see done in live-action anyway - the origin of the Scorpion and Sub-Zero. It came with with a Part 1, but it was just stupid shit with Scorpion's family (you're welcome).

Not to sure what to make of the "twist" ending involving Quan-Chi. It seems to go pretty heavily against the standard lore that Sub-Zero was the product of a set-up, since he is supposed to have been bloodthirsty enough to wipe out an entire clan.

Does that mean Sub-Zero is dead - or worse, that they are going to try and make him into a "good" guy so that both Scorpion and Sub-Zero can be redeemed heroes in the end?

You know what, fuck it. This series is too shitty for me to care.

Game of Thrones Finale - Important Questions

2011-06-20T14:46:00.003-05:00

For the fans of the show, I have compiled three very important questions the audience should be wondering going into next season (that is, if you find yourself not compulsively reading the books already).

Assuming Daenerys rides one dragon (probably the large black Drogon), who will be the riders of the other 2 dragons?
Now that Ned Stark is dead, how can Jon Snow possibly learn who his mother is? There is one person in the world that was there with Ned when he brought Jon back, a simple Hedge-knight that has remained nameless in the show - though it may be easier to work out than you think (see below).
What kind of power is Bran developing?

Though I have read the first four books, these questions are still barely touched upon. If you want some potential spoilers (based solely on my theories) please read on.

(1) I think the answer to number 1 has to deal with Daenerys eventual crossing of the narrow sea and claim on the Iron throne, and also how it coincides with the ominous threat from the North. Though many will say "Jorah" is an obvious choice to ride one dragon, I think that there may be other characters, like Jon Snow, who might have a greater chance due to his character being removed from the "Game of Thrones" plots that plague the South.

(2) I feel like Jon Snow's lineage is a bit easier to work out with just the information we have gathered from the show. We all know that Ned Stark was honor-bound to a fault (he got his head removed), so it seems highly implausible that he would sire a bastard so close after marrying his beautiful wife, Catelyn Stark.

However, much has been said about just how much Jon resembles his father (more so than any of his true-born children), so there must be at the very least a close relationship. Ned's brother Brandon was killed by the mad King Aerys, which left his sister Lyanna. We know Lyanna was captured and raped by the dragon knight Rhaegar Targaryen, and that Robert Boratheon was betrothed to her and in his rage slew Rhaegar while Ned freed his sister. Upon finding his sister, she utters the famous line, "promise me" and dies - then after the war Ned returns with a bastard boy and claims him as his own.

"Promise me" takes on more weight when we realize that what Ned could have promised to adopt him as his own, since he and his sister knew that if the child had the blood of a Targaryen, King Robert would want him dead. If this is the origin of Jon Snow, he would have the ancestral kingly blood of the "First Men" from the Starks, and be the true heir to the iron throne by having the fiery "Dragon's Blood" of the Targaryens. In short, Jon Snow, the loner bastard, is actually the one true king (like Aragorn from LOTR) , and even has a greater claim to the throne than his young aunt, Danaerys the "Mother of Dragons." He would have the blood of both Ice and Fire, and the series is called, "A Song of Ice and Fire." I am going to go out on a limb and say he is the most important character...

(3) With the rebirth of Dragons into the world, the fantastical elements to the story are starting to become more apparent. Bran, the crippled son of Ned Stark, has started having visions of the three-eyed crow. These visions so far have been abstract warnings or direct links to the future, as when he had a dream of seeing his father's ghost before he actually learned the truth from a messenger Raven. It is possible that what Bran could be becoming is sort of the missing-link to the ancient world of the "Children."

A Westerosi Anthropologist's Sketch of the "Children of the Forest"

The "Children" were the indigenous population of Westeros before the coming of the "First Men" from Valerya - who were fleeing a massive calamity only known as "The Doom." The Children were basically half-lings who were extremely gifted in magic, and was the race the carved all the faces in the trees and planted all the "weirwoods," that have mostly been cut down except in the North, where they are prayed at to appease the "Old Gods." The First Men and the Children went to war before coming to a truce; a truce that stated that no more weirwoods would ever be cut down. Oddly, the Children seemed to vanish from Westeros, but rumor has it that they only went into the North, beyond the Wall.

Bran may be able to tap in to the Children's ancient power, becoming a new sort of "Wizard." With the rebirth of Dragons, might we be seeing a rebirth of more traditional forms of magic and archetypes into the world of Westeros as well?

Conan the Barbarian - The Musical!

2011-06-16T14:50:00.001-05:00

There is one thing certain about the upcoming Conan the Barbarian remake: there is no possible way it can be converted into a musical half as good as this:

Hussein Swap!

2011-06-13T18:47:00.001-05:00

The new Devil's Double trailer is surprisingly good; at the very least, it makes me wonder how many more Husseins - real or fake - do we need to hunt down. Clearly, their lavish partying is a threat to stability in that region, and it undermines our cause.

USA! USA! USA!

I want this poster!

2011-06-13T18:20:00.001-05:00

There is something about WWII propaganda posters that I find endearingly charming; when I stare at one, I feel like I am looking at a time where people were still innocent to the power of media and not so cynical.

That being said, the upcoming WWII-era Captain America flick just got a pretty badass retro poster that fits perfectly in with the spirit of that time. I want this - badly.

Hard to argue with a Hitler sucker-punch.

Meet the Alien from Super 8!

2011-06-12T12:02:00.001-05:00

Aintitcool posted this image that a very talented friend compulsively had to draw after seeing the film; this is pretty heavy spoiler stuff, so check it out after the break at your own risk.

Below is a newly released "found" footage of scientists and their alien experiments:

Goro lolz

Assassins Creed: Revelations Trailer

2011-06-06T22:08:00.002-05:00

Though I would say Brotherhood lacked some of the polish of Assassin's Creed 2 , I still believe that this is one of the greatest videogame series ever built. Brotherhood's multiplayer component alone was worth the price, so I can't wait to see how they up the ante and refine the series even more.

Can you believe it's all about a history-long cover up of ancient aliens? Lolzzzzz.

Can't wait.

X-men: First Class Review

2011-06-06T17:03:00.001-05:00

Consider me pleasantly surprised.

Prior to the release of X-men: First Class , every preview image Fox studios released of this film filled me with nothing but dread. This film had a quick turnaround from production to release, and we as an audience had be burned once before when Fox had tried that same strategy with the much maligned third X-men movie, which proved to be nothing more than an exercise of whoring out the characters for a studio payday.

The saving grace for First Class in my mind was the hiring of Mathew Vaughn (Kick-Ass) as the director; I was mystified, yet curious, because Vaughn was the first director who was attached to the third X-men movie before he dropped out the film after balking at Fox's demands to churn out that third movie in 9 months (and we all know how that turned out under the appalling direction of Brett Ratner). Even still, I went into the screening of First Class with low expectations, especially after it became widely known that the film was not a reboot but a true prequel to the existing movie canon that had become muddled and embarrassingly derivative due to the poor quality of Wolverine and X-men 3.

I present to you the definition of jumping the shark:

After seeing First Class , I can honestly say that I have seen the best X-men movie ever realized. I still find it hard to believe myself, as the ground this film covers and the background this film gives the X-men franchise actually makes the rest of the films better (don't worry X3, you are only fractionally better).

First and foremost, credit has to be given to James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender as young Charles Xavier (Prof. X) and Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto), respectively. Their interaction throughout the film grounds the characters, and adds some much needed emotional weight to their conflict. There is a reason a coin plays so vital a role in this film, as Xavier and Lehnsherr are two sides of that same coin; yet, remain in their hearts as brothers, always.

Fassbender plays Magneto as a Jewish avenging angel, a weapon whose powers are activated in his childhood by rage after his parents are taken and killed during the Holocaust, and he is left to experimentation by a Nazi scientist (Kevin Bacon). As an adult, Erik globetrots the world hunting and assassinating former Nazis like a badass James Bond with super-powers (albeit with little blood - thanks PG-13!). There is a scene that is one of the best in the X-men franchise, and it hearkens back to Fassbender's work in Inglourious Basterds as a covert British agent who tries to pass off as a German soldier in a bar before all hells breaks loose. The arc Erik's character takes in this film is the most important to the series, as it sets up the antagonistic element for the X-men teams to come; simply, they nailed who Magneto is completely.

Das Magneto ich bin kill yo ass!

McAvoy's Xavier is a silver spoon, wise beyond his years erudite who is a catalyst for bringing out the best in every mutant he encounters. His powers allow him to instantly see the sum of a man or woman, and then guide them on a path of accepting themselves and achieving their full potential. Some of his best moments are when he is playing the professor we all know he becomes, as he tries to train each of the young mutants on his team to focus their powers.

The story is extremely tight, as the events of the Cold War as the backdrop rapidly unfold; it seems like every two minutes the film zips back and forth between Russia and the U.S.. Some of the problems I had foreseen about some characters existing anachronistically in the timeline (especially if they are keeping the current canon) are deftly answered, and almost every major question about the X-men's origin is wrapped up; by the end of the film, the characters are in a place where they can really be unleashed if there are to be any sequels, with the final action scene that pits mutant vs. mutant as a damn good preview of what we can expect.

Some of my biggest qualms about the film (which are relatively minor in relation to what it's able to achieve) deal with the handling of some supporting-cast mutants. Beast was cool, but you never get to seem him truly acrobatically nuts. The antagonistic Hell Fire crew is also bland (with the exception of Nightcrawler's progenitor, Azazel, and Emma Frost's boobies), with "Riptide" coming off as a complete joke. Basically, not many of the mutants save Xavier, Magneto, and Mystique are fleshed out, which is not a bad thing for the context of this film, but could be for sequels. Hopefully future films will add more depth to the rest of the characters while keeping to the small-team structure rather than diluting them with a bunch of faceless newbs. Hell, if there are to be new mutants, please don't have an eye-rollingly cheesy scene devoted to how each character gets a "code-name" like they had in this film.

Ritpide is one soul patch away from Apollo Ono...

The best that can be said is that this film has me excited about seeing X-men on screen again. I hated what the films had become, but Mathew Vaughn really got the franchise back on track; X-men: First Class is a surprisingly great film which also happens to be one of the best super hero films ever. It's the humanity of these mutants the lifts it above it's predecessors.

****1/2

WoW killer incoming?

2011-06-06T15:05:00.003-05:00

Save for some cheesy lines in the the latest E3 2011 trailer, I think this presentation demonstrates the new addiction that will take hold come this holiday season:

Bad 80's - Africa

2011-06-02T14:39:00.000-05:00

There is a sense of innocense of wonder about those first true music videos in the early 80's that I happen to find very nostalgic. It's clear that artists were fumbling into the new medium, trying to marry their music with moving images while also attempting to tell a story.

One needs to look no further than Toto's Africa as one of the greatest evidence of that awkward transition from radio to video. If we ignore the the band's appearance, which screams early 80's Middle Earth festival, the video starts routinely enough: there seems to be a dude, looking for a certain book in an African library (maybe) while a female librarian works on. It makes sense, because I guess the song could be about a guy who is trying to track down a long lost love. I don't know why he would have to go to a tiny library, but this isn't the 80's.

From there, shit starts to get weird. I guess Toto must mean "creepy book demon," because the rest of the video unfolds kind of like a horror movie. After cavorting like miniature pixies atop a stack of books, the lead singer eventually finds that same book, cleverly labeled "Africa;" upon touching the book, the lead singer releases the rest of the demonic band from their leather-bound prison, who immediately go to work burning down the library and killing the poor innocent female librarian.

Thank jeebus for the Kindle and iBooks. I ain't releasing no Totos.

A Game of Content

2011-06-01T19:30:00.004-05:00

Long time, amiright?

It's been hard to get some lucid content that isn't just trailers or funny short videos. Ideally, the rate at which I would like to be churning out content would be equal to the speed at which it is delivered over the interwebz, but frankly there have been a whole host of things that have diverted my mind elsewhere; ideally, all these new things are great for blogger contemplation, so for the sake of getting some much needed writing exercise, I thought I would do a stream of consciousness piece that would explore some of the things that have piqued my interest, and examine some of the things that have commanded my attention.

The NBA Finals

On paper, these Finals are joke. As if the NBA couldn't have planned it any better for their commercial viability, the Miami Heat are finally at full strength. Any way you look at the current matchups with the Dallas Mavericks, there is just no way you can completely shut the Heat down; conversely, there are several ways to derail the Mavericks (double team Dirk down to 35% shooting and make their bench beat you) and it just so happens that Miami has also one of the quickest and most athletic defenses in the league that is up to the task.

Talent wise, watching the Heat is like watching a constant highlight reel that can pretty much score without any set play, while the Mavericks is like watching a bunch of cagey veterans flip through a book of plays and then have to get into a half court set to free up their shooters and get any sort of offense.

Yep, it's pretty much like an unfair NBA Jam game.

I'll save my breath for the ref conspiracy theories, but I have already witnessed some blatant no-calls that were going Miami's way in Game 1. If you look at it from purely a financial "bottom line," the NBA needs the Heat to win; David Stern wants LeBron to validate himself in the wake of last Summer's PR nightmare that was "The Decision," and ascend to the rank of our generation's "Basketball Jesus." The conflict that LeBron created was good for dialogue and selling tickets, but I am sure the NBA would rather the top player of an era be as loved as MJ was (even though he was kind of a dick). Honestly, even though these Finals will be predictable, I'll still watch because the talent in tandem of Wade and James is undeniably entertaining. Also, the last living Neanderthal named "Dirk" can shoot the "J," y'all!

Dirk shoot ball! Dirk happy!

My Dog has a Facebook!

I know what you're thinking : I claim to have no time to write, yet I created a Facebook Account for my dog? It was a dare turned fun little exercise, as trying to picture how "Gus" views the world has been an legitimate time-killer.

I am sure if everyone who owned a pet tried to analyze and synthesize each of their individual quirks, you would come to find that these creatures that live with us actually have quite robust personalities. My dog Gus, for instance, is mortally terrified of grates and sewer drains, and I can't for the life of me figure out why. The phobia has gotten worse with age, yet he has never had a traumatic experience that would lend itself to the aversion or his behavior; hell, my parents' beagle/retriever dog is probably the smartest animal I know, and she has had a myriad of traumatic sprays to the face from skunks and never put 2 and 2 together that she probably shouldn't go sniffing that creature's ass.

It's funny, because while the fear Gus developed of vortexes he can't see into is completely instinctively rational, the behavior he exhibits is a little loopy : if I were on a normal sized residential street walking down the center, and there was a sewer drainage ditch to my right twenty feet away, and I took one step toward that ditch while he is on the leash, you would think that I suddenly was dragging him toward a pit of vipers the speed at which he puts the breaks on; he will desperately run the other direction. However, if I were going down the middle of the street, and I released Gus from his leash while the ditch was in sight, he would actually run right over to it and stick his whole damn head down the hole sniffing and examining it. Clearly, the rationale is: human + leash + hole = puppy spelunking.

Nope, you're right Gus. Fuck that.

Meh, the kid's cute - so I put up with it.

One Series to Rule Them All

Back in April, I explored how awesome the existence of HBO's Game of Thrones was, and how far fantasy as a genre had come that it could get such a big budget, hard-R adaptation. Having not read a lick of the novels the show was based on, I noticed several initial similarities that seem to be pervasive through almost all the popular modern fantasy series of the last 20 years, similarities to me that had become trite and predictable, and I hoped that this series would not follow a similar arc.

Crises fucking averted.

Three weeks ago I started George R.R. Martin's A Song of Fire and Ice series. Three weeks later, I am 3500 pages into the series, having finished A Game of Thrones , A Clash of Kings , A Storm of Swords, and am currently blazing through A Feast for Crows - and finally officially at only the midpoint of Martin's epic.

Listen, I know many of you will only watch the show, so I will not spoil anything. I was peeved a few weeks back when it seemed that the show was vaulting ahead on some plot points faster than I could read, and was already spoiling material I hadn't gotten to in the books; now I am comfortably in a place where I can enjoy both the show and the books for what they are. I can only hope the show stays alive to do the major plot developments and characterizations justice (so far so good on that front), because everyone is in for an amazing treat (if I did a 1:1 comparison on how much ground the show covers in a week in relation to the books, I am at about episode 37).

Martin's A Song of Fire and Ice is the series that shatters the fantasy paradigm established by The Lord of the Rings and the clones that followed. In Tolkien's LOTR, there is black and white - good and evil - with very few shades of grey in between. The bad guys are literal monsters, while the good guys are human or some dwarf or elf variation. It's probably shouldn't be a shock that one of the most memorable and deepest characters is the one that also diverts from the black and white formula s so prevalent in the series (and also happens to be literally grey) : Gollum. There are subplots to be sure, but it all serves to feed back into main story and theme. Yet, the language and history have always been the deepest, the characters the coolest, and the battles were epic.

For years, trudging through fantasy post-LOTR has been like reading lesser variations of Tolkien's masterpiece. No one really attempted to break away from the norm (save for introducing sex) that there exists Good and Evil, and the hero could be altruistic to a fault but still end up triumphing. Why? The stories were easy to churn out and accessible, the characters familiar and identifiable, but the plots became rote and predictable.

Then came A Song of Fire and Ice in the 90's. George R.R. Martin's initial novel, A Game of Thrones , was lauded by everyone in the business as a literary masterwork and technical achievement, yet it never reached best seller status until it was announced in 2008 that HBO would be adapting it. Not only have the four books that have been released since then (released 4-6 years apart from each other) achieved multiple literary awards, but inside the jacket of each book exists paragraph after paragraph of only the highest praise from the best-selling fantasy writers of our time. If you read between the lines of their praise, you would understand that THIS was the series they wish they were capable of.

Again, how could something of this magnitude that insiders were raving about not achieve commercial success until the brilliant minds of HBO declared it worthy of throwing down damn near sixty million dollars?

Because it's a once in a lifetime genre-busting game changer. Everything that was comfortably established by Tolkien is gone. In A Song of Fire and Ice , the characters aren't easily identifiable - there IS no black and white, because only the grey can survive in this world. These characters are real people with real motivations and very adult cravings acting as if they would have existed in a historical medieval setting where there just so happens to also exist fantasy elements; Martin based the idea of the series on the historical machinations of the ruling families during the War of the Roses, and as a result the plot is probably the richest account of political intrigue in the entirety of the genre, one that at times is Shakespearean in its level of tragedy.

In the fantasy world of the Seven Kingdoms, Westeros, there are no magic bullets or plot devices to save our heroes and defeat the perceived evil; you play the "game of thrones" or you die. Ancient family Houses position and reposition themselves with Machiavellian plots that are so complex that at any one time there could be up to 15 individual characters with their own motivations who are affecting the progression of the story. As kings fall, the lines of family succession and codes of conduct and morality are so complex that each novel comes with an almost 70 page appendix of names and descriptions of the Houses "Great and Small" and everything in between.

But wait, isn't this a fantasy novel? 3500 pages into the series and just now are some of the traditional threads of fantasy being woven in, albeit with sublime subtlety. Even if you are watching the show, there is nothing really overtly magical happening. At the point I am at, there are so many characters who follow so many schisms of religions, one could guess that the gods are as diverse and morally grey as the characters that worship them; hell they too even could even be playing a "game of thrones" themselves. This fantasy elements are not forced, nor does they need to be to hold our attention - it is the richness and diversity of the characters who may emerge to the forefront, only to recede or die shockingly.

This is very much an adult series in every sense of the word (sexy wenches!), and readers are quick to learn that established characters' fates are highly unpredictable. Though the series seems on the surface to be about a few powerful people and families, Martin changes the script and establishes early on in the novels that it's not only kings that decide the fate of man, but also seemingly lesser individuals whose actions may have consequences that create ripples throughout the giant world they live in. What higher praise could be said of a story but that it captures the vulnerability of men and women, both great and small; they all may die, while those who live change. Through it all, the characters have life .

For all the political intrigue, I will say that my favorite story follows that of the Stark bastard Jon Snow and his snow-white direwolf "Ghost." I won't say too much, but his position on the Wall guarding the north removes his character from the game of thrones that happens far to the south. If I would venture a guess, I would say that Snow has to also be Martin's favorite character to write about, as his adventures with Ghost follow a more traditional fantasy model, and Jon himself is in the vein of an archetypical fantasy hero. I have already learned to stop trying to predict the fates of characters as the series is far from over, but the stakes that exist for Jon are a little higher than winning a throne. There is a Helms Deep moment on the Wall that I will look forward to seeing on any screen.

Jon Snow = win!

I should be finishing up A Feast For Crows just in time for the release of A Dance With Dragons which comes out in June. Hopefully, I won't have to wait 6 years like some people for the next book, as I hope George R.R. Martin has a Stephen King like crises of mortality Dark Tower moment and churn out the two remaining chapters sooner rather than later.

Don't die on me, bro!

As the show concludes book 1, I will go over some important questions that the viewers should be asking themsleves.

In the future

After my upcoming one-year anniversary with my lovely wife, I am hoping to catch up on some more writing. Look forward to a Bridesmaids Vs. Hangover piece, an X-Men review, and some coverage and contemplation on what is to be revealed at the videogame expo, E3. Right now, I am going to go devour another 500 pages of A Feast for Crows and wait on bated breath for it's follow up.

Between 2 Ferns: Will Ferrell

2011-05-31T11:53:00.000-05:00

I don't know why, but these always get my goat; this one begs the question: why haven't we seen an Anchorman 2 that includes John C. Reilly and Zach Galifianakis?

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Will Ferrell from Will Ferrell

Modern Warfare 3 Trailer Revealed!

2011-05-24T17:12:00.001-05:00

This trailer came with a mountain of hype, which is odd because the game doesn't come out until November 4th; I guess they are going to try and break a sales record or something?

We all play Black Ops when we get a chance, so it looks like their decision to break the studios up will pay off. Not only do we get a game that has had 2 year development cycle, but we get it so close to the anniversary that Black Ops was released; that's just good business sense folks!

Here's hoping that Infinity Ward is up to the challenge of surpassing MW2.

YTMND Weekly #14: Gator Conan

2011-05-24T17:01:00.001-05:00

After Conan O'brien allowed Will Farrell to shave off his beard - he seemed to resemble a certain swamp lizard: Conan Is....
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