Monday, April 13, 2009

Muppet Babies: Short Bus?

Muppet Babies is clearly an allegory for a Special Needs Pre-K.

Listen, I am sure that like me, there are some of you that have grown up on this shit. Hey, I could have brought up this, this, or even this.

Yes, I may have had illusions or daydreams (or something medically wrong with me) about tiny people/animals/gnomes going on insane adventures and not being sucked up by lawnmowers, but there was something extra special about Muppet Babies. It took 20+ years being removed from this show to figure it out, but I think my point about how revolutionary this show was for it's time can be better illustrated by going through the characters and what they really represent:

Kermit - Latent homosexuality (this would later be cleared up by the "Rainbow Connection"). Dismissive of Piggy's overt advances, Kermit was a gayby (gay baby) at a time when it was not cool to be gay. Thanks to Reagan, AIDS was a "gay" disease, and Gay-Americans had yet to establish a firm hold on their own identities and their place in culture; simply, there was no safe way for Kermit to come "out" to his fellow babies. Or I could be way off the mark, and Kermit's chastity in the face of the other white meat was purely because Piggy was fat and a bitch.

Piggy - Childhood obesity. This really is a no brainer, but still very poignant for all those kids that now bath in McDonald's BBQ sauce. This character is gold-mine of problems, the least of which is that she is the personification of a pig; lust/greed/gluttony and possibly more sins can be attributed to this character. I would also place a ton of money on the probability that her kind could be found in most of the trailer parks down south.

Gonzo - Sexual deviancy. His nose is a penis. He is in love with chickens. You can probably combine those and find it on an Internet porn site today.

Bunsen - Addiction to technology. The then-wannabe scientist thought that only his advances would solve the babies problems. Oh the hubris. Like Icarus, Bunsen always flew too close the sun and usually his attempts backfired. This also could be because his assistant was:

Beaker - Aspergers. He was shy, could only talk in "meeps," and always fucked shit up. This is the kid that probably opened every door by kicking it and only drank milk. Today these kids can be mistaken for em0. Also do not make fun of them because they have a tendency to snap and stab things.

Animal - Autism. I would say that he would probably be fully retarded if he wasn't such a savant on the drums.

You see, Muppet Babies was more important than anyone fully realized. It taught me to be cognizant of these types of Americans and how to deal with them without me even being fully aware of what I was learning. That kind of subliminal education has only been rivaled by Thundercats, which I am pretty sure taught me how to get laid.

1 comment:

  1. ok, i loved this... i also loved David the Gnome so please don't make fun. who knew the muppet babies had such deeper meaning? you should also know that the muppet babies theme song has been stuck in my head all morning. thanks for that.