Game of Thrones 2.2 - "The Night Lands"

Game of Thrones - The FX

Something tells me George Lucas could use a lesson...

Game of Thrones - Book 5 Review!

"For the Watch..."

Kenny Powers - MFCEO Of K-Swiss

The day that a marketing department gave Robocop a blowjob is here

Game of Thrones Finale - Important Questions

Popular Fantasy and HBO's "Game of Thrones"

Alright HBO, you win. I will pay* to watch you...

After watching the first two hours of the Game of Thrones , I cannot express how grateful I am that a  fantasy  adaptation could get this kind of treatment.  Having not read the series, I cannot comment on how true to the first book the show has already been, though the premise seems familiar enough (note, that I now have in my possession the first novel for devouring).

These last few years, I have bounced around most of the most popular fantasy series; they have ranged from the sketchy as hell Sword of Truth  series, through the wholly original yet heavy-Mormon- handed Mistborn  series, to well written but rote Runelord  novels.  Being that they are all pretty derivative of the grandaddy of epic fantasy, The Lord of the Rings ,  all of these series seem to not-so-subtly bear similar conceits to LotR  that have somehow become ubiquitous amongst popular fantasy.

So far, Game of Thrones seems no different. Published in the 5 year window (what epic strain of weed did these authors get their hands on in the early 90s?) that saw the release of The Wheel of Time  series, The Sword of Truth ,  and The Runelords ,  I can say that there are already some striking similarities that are pervasive and familiar:

Fantasy author, or sex offender?

• Weakened/Powerful enemies in the "distant" East that seek to rule the world. 
• Enemies that, if not monsters, bear striking resemblances to some very...ahem...historically Arabic cultures. Oh and they also have an insatiable appetite for raping/incest/child molestation - you know, because they are EVIL .
• Hidden primal forces that ultimately use said bad humans to do their dirty work, often with promises of power - thus weakening the human race to the point of annihilation. 
• Formerly ignorant/ambivalent heroes in the remote reaches of the known world that are forced into action and acts of heroism. 
• Batshit insane amounts of magic. Often, this magic is used several times as a plot device to get heroes out of tight spots. Most of the time, the heroes do not even know how it even happened. Just go to the next chapter - by then the author will have come down off the peyote to explain it better. 
• All the main heroes are  male. They usually start out as virgins, but go through so much hell saving the world that the main female heroins, who also happen to be the hottest babes on the planet, have to pretty much just give it up. Saving the hot babe form the hell-spawned rape demon for the third time in the middle  of the book is mere blow-job currency in modern fantasy realms, as these guys only get laid AFTER  they save the entire world. 

Begone, you blue-balling harpy!

If you have seen the first couple of episodes in the Game of Thrones , you can already check off a good portion of this list. Not to say that these similarities will yield predictable or familiar results by the shows' end, but there has been little deviation from standard modern-fantasy norms in the first couple of episodes.

Yet, the subtle attention to detail, the production quality, the acting (I mean they even got Sean Bean, aka "BOROMIR" for Sauron's sake), and the plot twists have already been enough to garner a second season and the dubbing of "best T.V. fantasy ever." I have to agree that it is damn  good, and I hope it marks the beginning of the golden age of the modern epic fantasy genre.

It's been almost a decade since The Fellowship of the Ring , so perhaps the technology has caught up to be affordable enough for the small screen to start picking up more of these stories. For now, I am going to enjoy this surprise while it lasts.

Aw hell, I have to kill ANOTHER  rape demon?

*By pay, I mean trick Time Warner into giving me free HBO.

Thundercats Wondercon Trailer!

I post this from a purely nostalgic place in my heart; it's insane to think this is the first cartoon I ever loved, remade a quarter century later for another generation. Suddenly I feel a little old.

To fight those feelings of mortality, allow me make a juvenile observation:

Cheetara has nice cans.

Top 10 Anime Intros: Part 2

 Continued from Part 1

#4: Bleach (Intro 10)

 I unabashedly love Naruto,  though I have a sense of love/boredom with Bleach. Though Naruto's story has gotten progressively darker and more original in its twists and turns, Bleach has become akin to Dragonball Z in its waning years. Bleach is dressed up in a new a different mythology, which while interesting in its complexity, still has the misfortune of having it's conflict resolution feel as rote as DBZ's eventually became.
Basically, the story antagonist is super strong, while the hero must build his powers through each successive fight with the antagonist's underlings. Each time the hero seemingly reaches a new power-level plateau, he then miraculously breaks through and transforms into something exponentially greater by some vague means, and is able to defeat the antagonist in a final earth-shattering fight.Thankfully, the manga seems to have shifted a bit in this new story arc, since the uber-baddy that has threatened the world for 5 years has been defeated. Oh wait - the intro? Yeah, the other thing that's nice about the series is it's attention to cleavage.

#3 Bleach (Intro 6)

The best intro Bleach has ever done, during what I would argue was the peak of the story so far. Singing stuffed animals is the stuff of nightmares though...

#2 Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (Intro 1)

Fullmetal Alchemist (both series) has a special place in my heart; there just hasn't been a better anime devoted to what it's like to be brothers that look out for each other. There have been two whole anime series based on the FMA manga; the first and more widely known anime is from the early 2000s and followed the comic closely until it had to veer off on a tangent because it ran out of source material (and thus, the ending had been widely panned).

A whole new series debuted in 2009 entitled FMA: Brotherhood. This "new" anime is seemingly identical to the first one in most respects, up until the point where the original anime jumped the shark. Brotherhood instead also features a style and action closely resembling the manga, as well as adhering strictly to the superior and more affecting canon of the comic. The episodes are now dubbed and free on Hulu - you won't be dissapointed.

#1: Naruto Shippuden (Intro 6)

This intro pretty much has it all: action, badass music, and sentimentality. I won't spoil the series for you, but the old guy at the beginning and then fighting on the giant frog at the end is the main character's surrogate grandfather and all around pimp. Suffice to say, he goes out with a bang; all anime fans are thankful that the intro paid such an amazing homage to a beloved character (believe me it gets better once you get passed the dude trying to speak English with a mouthful of peanut butter).

That's my list - hope ya'll have enjoyed it. Post some suggestions if I missed any, and I'll do and updated list later.

Top 10 Anime Intros: Part 1

#10: Thundercats

  Thundercats is considered an "American" cartoon, but the American animation never lived up to the promise of its intro that wasn't even animated stateside; the Japanese animators threw down the gauntlet with the intro, and it was my first real taste of what and action cartoon should be. Even as a small child I wondered why the hell the show didn't look and move like the intro all the damn time.

#9: Dragonball Z: American Intro 

In terms of my first real anime love, there is nothing that pumped me up more as an 11 year old than the American Dragonball Z intro. Coincidentally, it was also the first major breakthrough for an anime that didn't have the Pokemon moniker. I dovetailed into this series hard, even buying the freshly subbed VHSs from Funimation just so I could be the first to see the Trunks saga.

#8 : Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex

I could never get into the series, but I never stopped loving this intro. For me, it hits the nostalgia buttons hard, as the composer is the same that did Final Fantasy VII. Beautiful work and animation.

#7: Naruto Shippuden: Intro 8

Love the manga and the anime (when it's not suffering from boring filler), and the intros are consistently so good, that you could probably include 4 of them on the list; what more can you expect for the #1 show in all of Japan? This is the latest intro as the show shifts back to the main storyline.

#6: Cowboy Bebop

This is a show that trancended the genre, with dialogue, action, and editing more akin to a Tarantino's Kill Bill. It's space "Jazz-opera" concept is one of a kind, and it's no wonder that American filmmakers are still clamoring to get a live-action adaption going.

#5: Samurai Champloo

The spiritual successor to Cowboy Bebop, this time twisting the wandering samurai genre up with a hip-hop flair. The show in its uncut form is hard to come by on Cartoon Network, dumped to the middle of the night for it's harder edge and violence.




GO ON TO PART 2

X-men: Anime Trailer

Yeah, the character design looks a bit "Fem" to me, but anime is the perfect medium for mutant-on-mutant action.

Best of Russell Brand's SNL

   I think Russell Brand is funnier in *ahem* smaller doses. There was nothing he did that was particularly endearing, but at least this week's SNL contained one of the best fake trailers they have ever done. The Spider-Man lawsuit sketch was funny because I personally hate those Wainwright lawyer testimonials around this parts, and of course Stefon killed it as always.

Would Stefon be funny if it didn't make Bill Hader crack up so much?

British Movie

Spider-Man Lawsuit

Stefon: Jewpid's Arrow

Super Bowl XLV: Darth Vader Kid Wins

Best Ad: 
Had to be the new "Star Wars Kid." Managed to blend the geeky with the cute in package that had something for everyone. 

Notables:

Trailers:

Transformers 3

Thor

Captain America (With Bonus Red Skull Freeze-cap)

Best of Jesse Eisenberg's SNL

Mr. Wizard



The Creep



Bride of Blackenstein



Herb Welch

Best of Gwyneth Paltrow's SNL

SHOTS!




Fresh Prince: 20th Anniversary



ESPN: Deportes 



The Scarf Promo
 

Best of Jim Carrey's SNL

Amusement Park Ride 


A Taste of New York




Weekend Update



Psychic Medium
 

Best of the Jeff Bridges' SNL

I Just Had Sex

Crunkmas


Jeff'd

SNL review

Paul Rudd's SNL was pretty hit or miss, with a few gems peppered in. Paul McCartney did an obscene 4 performances, which I am sure was included with his hefty price-tag (pimping the release of the Beatles on itunes). I get it, he and Susan Sarandon are merging into one being.

I have to hand it to Sir Paul, he can sing the hell out of that "Walking in slow motion."

Stumblin

Weekend Update: Stefon

What's that name?

Paul Rudd is a badass

NEW SNL tonight, and this guy always delivers:

The Power is On

watch who's comin at you
why? who's got the power?
watch whos comin at you
if you might allow her
watch who's comin at you
why? who's comin through?
one, a bit right then we got two
watch who's comin at you
but don't fuss
watch who's gonna get you back on the bus
watch you change your lightbulb
then you take a shower
watch who's comin at you
why? who's got the power?

Shy Ronnie 2.0: Ronnie and Clyde

Loved the first one, and this too was a decent follow-up. Thanks Hulu, because I sure as hell wouldn't watch SNL otherwise.





Also, as a bonus for Galafinakis' Due Date coming out this weekend - here is by far my favorite sketch from last year's hosting gig: